Just how do you find a husband??

[hetropne1]

I am going to hit 30 this year and I still seem unable to have a grown up relationship which could lead to marriage!
I have two kiddies, but their dad left when I was preggers with the 2nd.
Since then I have been on countless dates... and I really have tried lots of diferent types of men andtravelled quite far to go on some of these dates,but I just don't get anywhere. I have been a member of several dating sites but not found anything yet.
I have for the past 2 yrs had a very casual relationship with someone, I only see him every couple of months and it was all just a bit of fun... I am not sure where it is going if anywhere but I can't help but feel that I am wasting my time! Hedoes however travel 2.5 hrs to come and see me for an hour or so...
I don't get much opportunity to get out these days as I have moved away to try to restart mine and the childrens lives, and now can't get out that much as I don't know anybody to babysit!
I just wondered if anyone could shed any light on how a hermit finds her mate?!?!

[BatmansWilly]

I will be watching with interest! I am also on the wrong side of my twenties and I keep picturing myself in that wedding dress ... the older I get, the more the picture fades

[lilac21]

I've got one you can have - slightly soiled, used twice and rejected, free to anyone's home, doesn't have to be a good one!

[Miamla]

Herbietea...that's exactly what i was going to say! Stop looking!

now i'm not saying this applies to you but if you've got it in your head that you're looking for a "mate", you're probably sending off alarm bells to potential mates and coming across as a little desperate

when i was actively looking for "the one", he was no where to be found. once i gave up and decided that i was happy on my own, along came DP with a big smile on his face. His smile made me smile and we're still smiling now

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

I was working in a hotel, and married one of the guests

[jugglingwoman]

Definitely agree with not looking. I have lots of male friends who are very very scared if a lady is too eager, although I don't agree with playing games either.

I met my husband through my church (he'd been going for a couple of years after his wife had died) and when he asked me out I was in possibly the worst position possible mentally. Had just realised that the bloke I'd been seeing was in fact a tosser who was unable to commit to life let alone me, had sent him a text saying 'let me know when you sort your life out' and then my now DH asked me out for a drink. Went to the pub twice, got together on the 3rd date after he asked me if I fancied him.

He says it was my 'fun, laidback attitude and calmness' that made him ask me out, and the red bits in my hair. Needless to say, red bits had been done in defiance of ex because I wanted to show I could and the attitude and calmness was due to the fact I'd given up flogging a dead horse!

Definitely most of my friends got together with their OH's when they'd had enough of men and couldn't be bothered to make the effort!!

[kickassangel]

try to get out & have some fun. find a babysitter & join some clubs/activites. find sociable things to do with the kids.
just try to get to know people, whether they be male or female. once you have a cirle of friends working, you will meet more people.

[hetropne1]

Thank you ladies - I don't go out looking... I used to but realised that was wrong, I am very easy going and I don't think I come across as being desperate...
I am managing a night out this weekend so we shall see what happens.
People almost fall over in shock when I tell them I have been single for 4 yrs, been on the dates etc but nothing significant...
It is a tad worrying that my 8 yr dd has susutained a longer relationship than me - oh and since the move she has had 2 boyfriends to my zilch...

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

jump onto the 'fit and interesting'thread on lone parents we all have success on there

[hetropne1]

Shall give it a go...