I need advice on my MIL again :(

[Rubysmom08]

As some of you may remember I have ongoing issues with my pil- mainly my mil.

I suffered PND with my dd1 (13months) and as a result I was really protective of dd and didn't like her out of my sight, also felt my mil was overbearing and controlling and in some way was going to 'steal' my dd. Realy she is just really really over enthusiastic.

She is from a childcare background and so is my sil who wants to start trying for kids soon. They continually be-little my ways of doing things for example the other week my dd was having a sandwich and my sil took it off her and cut it into smaller pieces saying that this is how she gave the lunches to the children at the nursery and my mil continually tells me what a fabulous mother my sil will make, in my honest option she is a bit of a waster who will expect mil o give up work to care for her dc- anyway by the by.

The issue is me and dh want to take control of our weekends again, we have managed to get ouselves into a horrible routine of going round every saturday for about 3 hrs. We wanted to reduce it to once a fortnight but in the week give the pil the opportunity to spend some quality time with dd on their own, so they could take her out etc without having me and dh there. This is something they really wanted, but also something that I have found incredibly hard.

I didn't want to give them a list of do's and don't because they have brought up two children and I think it is healthy for my dd to know that there are different rules, I also trust them not to fill her full of sweets etc.

Anyway Monday was the first time my mil had her. I dropped her off, demonstrated the pushchair etc as dd loves going to the park and also it is the only way she will sleep in the afternoon, plus I am a strong believer that kids need fresh air.

My mil has a real issue with my dd crying and asserting herself, my dd is at that age where she won't get into the pushchair, car seat, high chair , have her bum changed etc without a fight.

So when I picked her up on Monday, she hadn't taken her out because she cried when being put in the pushchair, she hadn't fed her because she wouldn't go into her highchair so she had a packet of quavers for her lunch, she hadn't let her nap because she had her friend round instead to visit my dd and to top it off my dd had a full nappy because she wouldn't change her because my dd would cry!!!!!!! so I was handed backa really irrite child- and this women is meant to be childcare!

What would you do?

[fuzzywuzzy]

I'd not let my daughter be with her for a long space of time again till she's potty trained and able to feed herself, and use a phone to call you!!!

[WhatFreshHellIsThis]

I'd go mental! She's neglecting your child's basic needs - not going out is one thing, leaving a child in a dirty nappy and not feeding them is neglectful.

I would have a word with your DH and get him to say that MIL won't have DD again unless she shapes up. Or suggest that maybe she might like to wait until your DD is out of her challenging phase, seeing as she clearly can't cope with it.

sorry, not sure how useful this is as advice, am feeling a bit cross and intolerant today

[OatcakeCravings]

Sack that! Reclaim your weekend! I've turned over a new leaf (New Years resolution) and if my parents or my inlaws want to see us then we arrange a mutually agreeable time - we have no traditional days (eg every Sunday) anymore and its bliss! There might be a few arguements and tantrums to begin with if you do this but it will calm down in a month or two and believe me it is well worth it!

And if your MIL is going to neglect your DC in the way you have described just because she is going through a phase then I would just refuse to send her there on her own again no matter what my DH said!