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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Really wierd email, how do I handle it?

58 replies

SourCreamnChive · 03/03/2009 08:18

Last night I received an email from a male friend saying stuff like "I just wanted to tell you how much I want you, I want to make love to you ... " etc etc

There is NOTHING going on between me and this bloke, we're not even that friendly enough to joke around with each other like this and he is happily married with children.

It's VERY out of character for him which leads me to believe that it wasn't him that wrote it. It did however come from his email address and was addressed personally to me and sighned off in his name.

Surely even if he didn't write it, he will know of its existance since it came from his address?

Do I mention it to him (as in a "hey, what you playing at sending me saucy emails lol") or totally ignore it?

OP posts:

Report

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 03/03/2009 08:23

Well my reply would be along the lines of 'WTF???!!!'
Then he can explain if it wasn't him..

rubyslippers · 03/03/2009 08:24

was he drunk?

ask him what he is playing at ...

Portofino · 03/03/2009 08:24

Could you reply asking if it was really meant for you? It might have been meant for someone else in which case it might make him a bit .

squeaver · 03/03/2009 08:27

Yes a simple reply along the lines of "presume this wasn't meant for me" give him the chance to explain himself/discover someone's been mucking about on his computer (does he have teenage sons?)/realise he sent it to you rather than his dp/dw etc etc

Any of these could be the real explanation.

BalloonSlayer · 03/03/2009 08:28

Perhaps it's from his wife, to see how you'd respond.

How about:

"Sorry? Did you mean to send this to me?"

UndertheBoredwalk · 03/03/2009 08:28

I would also reply to email with a WTF..he'll get it and if someone else wrote the mail he will realise and can explain. If not, well then he will realise what a tit he's been and can try and weasel out of it!

RaspberryBlower · 03/03/2009 08:29

Definitely needs a 'wtf is this?' response. It's too explicit to ignore.

Who do you think did write it, if he didn't?

Another possibility is he's sent it to the wrong person.

hunnybun1981 · 03/03/2009 08:30

yeh i was thinking maybe it s to the wrong person or he is infactuated with u and u havent noticed.

i would reply sorry i think you send this to the wrong person ??

SourCreamnChive · 03/03/2009 08:31

He has teens but to be honest, there's no way they'd dare do something like that, they're very respectful and he and his wife are very strict.

I have to go out but I'll be back in half hour or so. Thanks for responces so far, this has really thrown me!

OP posts:

SourCreamnChive · 03/03/2009 08:31

btw it is actually addressed personally to me.

OP posts:

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 03/03/2009 08:31

I agree with BalloonSlayer, sounds like a possessive other-half trying to catch him out (that is if it is really so out of character).

Do what's suggested by BS. Perhaps adding a "I really hope this is a mistake" so it can't be read in an excited and so thrilled to be chosen that you can't quite believe it sort of way.

hertsnessex · 03/03/2009 08:32

id also ask WTF? and see what he responds with.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 03/03/2009 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

justgaveup · 03/03/2009 08:54

That is so wierd!

Definately agree that you need to reply and say 'i don't understand, what's all this about?'

She can't put - is this meant for me, cos obviously it is cos it's got her name on it.

Could you ring or text him saying 'wtf was that email about?'

PottyCock · 03/03/2009 08:54

I would also guess this is someone trying to put a finger on a niggle. I'd write back and say you were extremely uncomfortable to receive his email and assume it has come to you either by accident or from a third party as a bad joke.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 03/03/2009 08:55

Does it sound like something written by a man? Or is the phrasing more 'female', iyswim. (you can sometimes tell, I think)

I agree with the others, a quick "I presume this thing was NOT for me." would be a very good idea indeed!

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 03/03/2009 08:58

I think that given the situation you can put a, "WTF? Is this really meant for me?! I really hope this is a mistake." in your reply, even though it is addressed to you. It shows the disbelief and the surprise quite nicely.

lisad123 · 03/03/2009 09:02

I would send back, "the hell is this? Are you drunk or just messing because you know that could never happen. Hope you are drunk so I can tease you about this later" Hahaha

Lemontart · 03/03/2009 09:13

Definitely agree with others DO NOT ignore it! I would email a reply rather than speak direct and give him clear message that you are shocked/not interested/think it out of character and also make the point that you are sure you think it is a wind up/joke/mistake so that he can save face and you can carry on as before - especially if it was not sent by him but by his wife. Give him a little room for squirming his way/explaining his way out of it with his dignity intact and it will pay off in the long run.

Good luck. What a horrible scenario

I presume you have confided in your DH over all this? I would be careful not to leave him out of the loop if possible to avoid any further complications or problems. Last thing is for your partner to think you are covering something up

WouldYouCouldYouWithAGoat · 03/03/2009 09:14

please reply, i am dying to know the who/what/whyfore

troutpout · 03/03/2009 09:17

Agree with the others
Send him a 'wtf ??!!...i think this must be meant for someone else!'

seeker · 03/03/2009 09:19

Don't ignore, but don't ask questions or invite any further conversation. Simply say "Obviously sent in error - I have deleted it. SCC.

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YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 03/03/2009 13:25

Did you reply? Has he/she replied?

squeaver · 03/03/2009 18:15

Oh was hoping for an update. Any news, sour??

DegreesMinutesSecondsIsMale · 03/03/2009 18:29

I disagree with BalloonSlayer - I'd have thought most people checking up on their spouses are surreptitiously looking for evidence rather than soliciting it.

I'd reply "You have the wrong recipient" and leave it at that. If it wasn't intended for you, he'll appreciate your matter-of-factness. If it was for you, it sends out a clear message that you didn't even entertain the possibility that it might have been. Most men find this off-putting - and a married man even more if anything, I'd have thought.

There's always the possibility that someone else who knows you both (or even who just saw your name in his address book) is playing a malicious joke having got access to his mail account or PC.

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