Ok, I need advice on potential date tomorow

[StayOutOfTheLight]

Some of you may remember my previous thread regarding Comic Book Store Guy, Sexy and Stalker?

Well Stalker is no longer in the picture and I have become more and more interested in Sexy. I really like the sound of him and I'd like to meet up with him. He feels the same way.

My problem is Comic Book Store Guy. He sounds like a lovely bloke but I have totally lost interest. I told you all about him waffling on about star consolations etc? well the same thing happened last night whilst chatting on msn. Only this time his subject was carnivorous plants. He told me he grew them and then went on and on in detail about what soil they needed, the pete, chemicals, how they digested, different types of Venus Fly Traps .... I just totally switched off in the end. I was also talking to Sexy on msn at the same time and was much more into that conversation. I totally forgot about poor Comic Book Store guy and when I remembered, I clicked on his window about 15 minutes later, and he was STILL going on about them and hadn't even noticed that I wasn't replying or paying any attention.

The big problem is that before I became so interested in Sexy, I agreed to meet up with Comic Book Store Guy. We're due to go out for lunch tomorow, he wants to take me to a Thai place and he's really excited about it and keeps going on about it. I feel awful and don't want to let him down but don't want to lead him on either.

Do I go on the date and hope that he hates me or cancel or what?

[goodnightmoon]

hmmm, it probably wouldn't kill you to just meet him and then you can say you've given it a fair chance when you have to let him down gently.

otherwise you may have trouble getting rid of him if you are telling a lie to cancel, etc.

[sarah76]

Go on the date, no harm in having lunch with someone (though I'd go dutch). It's only an hour out of your life. Then, as goodnightmoon says, you can say you gave it a fair chance (though I think you already know, what with the dragon posters, carnivorous plants, etc).

He may decide you don't really do it for him either! That would probably be the best case scenario. If he asks about seeing you again, there will probably be an awkward moment--just try to prepare yourself for that. 'It was really nice meeting you, but I just don't think we have enough in common for this to work' or something along those lines. Unless he's extra-weird, he's not going to beg/make a scene.

[unavailable]

I dont know your previous thread, but I'm curious about the names. Are these monikers the men have given themselves or "shorthand "ones you have made up?

I would be very wary of someone who referred to himself as "sexy". Not just because its boasting, but because its very unlikely to be true in RL.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

ROFL!!
oh what a bloody nitemare!
cancel!
you owe him nothing you havent met him in RL
if he does your head in on msn
what will he be like in RL
and i cant guarantee that the ladies loos will have a window for you to escape thru!
i dont like hurtingletting people down either btw

[StayOutOfTheLight]

unavailable, I gave them the names in my last thread. Just to make it easier to refer to each one.

Sexy is named such simply because I liked the sound of him and couldn't think of anything ammusing to call him

[unavailable]

No, Its fine for you to call him sexy!
It was a bit yuck only if he'd called himself that.

[solidgoldbullet4myvalentine]

If it were me, I would give COmic BLoke one chance over a lunch date, and then if you don't think he's worth persevering with, say nicely that you don't have enough in common as already suggested.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

solid dont you think that by agreeing to have lunch actually gives him false hopes?
seriously any doubts at all that you have would be an alarm bell for me
you can easily drop him an msn tonite
and if its easier tell him that somethings cropped up at work/with dcs etc
or just put him straight

[sarah76]

I don't think having lunch with someone is giving them false hope, and lying about why you are cancelling will just drag it out even further. Plenty of people go on first dates and then decide it isn't right. Personally, I'd rather meet the guy sooner rather than later! I think while you can communicate pretty well with someone on the internet, you just don't really get a good sense of whether you will 'click' in person. The worst is when you waste ages and ages talking to someone who you think is great, only to meet and find there is no spark whatsoever!

[solidgoldbullet4myvalentine]

I think that someone who sounds a bit boring or simply not quite the same as you should be given a chance - but someone who sounds obsessive or rude should not be. False hope, my arse - if you don't date anyone until you are sure he is The One then you miss out on a lot of fun. People who are dating via internet sites or lonely hearts or whatever need to be prepared to meet a lot of people and not expect the first date to be True Love.

[ninah]

I think you should go so you can tell us about it ...

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

solid i dont date men because i think that they could be the one
i just dont bother to even go out with a man if i have alarm bells
i have very little potentially free dating time so wont waste it
Lol at ninah

[sarah76]

My thoughts exactly solidgold, there's no point doing internet dating unless you're willing to meet a lot of different people and take the chance that a high percentage of those, you won't see again. Going on lots of first dates is a great way to get comfortable with talking to people and practice making a good first impression.