Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Advice on handling BIL

6 replies

VeryAnnieMary · 13/02/2009 12:51

Mumsnetters are a sage bunch and I wondered if I could ask advice on handling my BIL.

I'm facing a weekend of him and we have a somewhat rocky relationship as - how do I put this? - he is very annoying! There's lots I could say, but the specific area that I'd like opinions on is how to/whether to get him to stop asking things via my sister rather than addressing me/rest of family directly.

An example: he eats a lot and if we are at breakfast and there's one muffin left he will nudge my sister and ask her "is anyone having that?" rather than asking the whole table. This sounds small but when you add up a whole weekend's worth it is really irritating. They have been married 9 years so he's known us all a long time and they frequently stay at my parents' for the weekend, and me and DH go down for family get togethers at least 6 times a year too.

Is there anything I can do without antagonising them? (He's also quite sensitive to any real or imagined slight).

(And yes, he and I do tend to antagonise one another anyway.)

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Report

traceybath · 13/02/2009 12:53

Well you could answer the question even though its not aimed at you i guess.

Honestly though i'd just keep my mouth shut and look forward to being on my own with DH to discuss him.

Have fun.

Report

mamas12 · 13/02/2009 13:39

Can you not do the same sort of thing e.g. nudge your sister and ask 'does he take sugar with that' Just see how long it takes for somewone to notice.
What would he do if your sis wasn't there?