My body issues are ruining my relationship

[massivetumtumtum]

Since I had dd2 7 months ago I have been very self conscious of the extra weight I am carrying around. I am bf and find it impossible to lose weight- I have tried believe me I was the same with dd1, and when I stopped bf her the weight pretty much fell off. But I am disgusted by my body. I hate it. I had a lot of issues before I was pg with dd1 and afterwards as well, I have never been happy with how I look. I realised last night how much it is affecting my relationship with dp, which suffered after dd2 was born anyway. I cannot bear the thought of him seeing me naked and if we are in bed and he tries to touch my stomach, which is just a huge saggy mess, I freak out. I know the issue is mine- dp has made it clear that he is not bothered by my body. I have been thinking tonight about how I am desperate to lose the weight (I have about 3 stone to lose) and I have almost decided to stop bf, which makes me sad too. I just want to feel ok in my own skin

[NotQuiteCockney]

I found losing weight while bf difficult because I was hungry and tired. But exercise can help improve tone, and make you happier.

Actually, given that in the long run we end up saggy and (generally) fatter than we'd like, would it be worth trying some sort of therapy about this?

[motherlovebone]

i totally understand.
my body is a total mess, i ate way too much with my first pregnancy (from 9 to 15 stone) when i got back to 9 stone, my stomach was like a bowl of porridge. i am just living with it, accepting it. its the only body i have and i thank it for the healthy children, and for carrying me through life.

[motherlovebone]

btw, if your daughter had this prob, what would you say to her? dont be so hard on yourself, you have done nothing wrong.

[Evaluna]

I've had a similar situation where I now always put my pyjamas on and pull the duvet up high.. the thought of someone touching my stomach makes me feel sick. I was always quite a large lady before but now everything just seems saggy and awful.

Its caused arguements but hubby will never know how I feel. Just try not to be so hard on yourself - chances are you partner doesnt think the same things you do!

[doggiesayswoof]

I think NQC has a point. It's worth looking into therapy or counselling so that you can accept yourself, regardless of weight loss etc. From your post I'm guessing you may make the decision to stop bfing, lose the weight, and still feel bad about yourself.

I did yoga/pilates after dc1 and felt fitter and more toned, even though I was carrying extra weight while bfing