I love this man but the distance stinks!

[lorelei58]

I've been in a long distance relationship with my DP for almost a year and we adore eachother. It's going to be long distance for the next couple of years until his DD leaves home and he can relocate to my area. The drive between us takes 4 hours and I'm the one who tends to travel because he has to work Saturdays - he'll lose his job if he doesn't and in the current recession won't have a chance of finding anything else (he's in building).

He's also short of money and has started falling into debt; I on the other hand am reasonably solvent and my hours are reasonable. I love this man to bits and can see a future with him but have responsibilities of my own (not least a DS of 9, who thankfully spends a lot of time with his dad). My DP does make a real effort to please me and feels bad about not being able to come and see me more often/being short of money but I can't help thinking sometimes that the situation's just too complicated and life would be so much simpler if I was on my own again! I don't know how long I can keep up the travelling; at the moment we spend every other weekend together but the 400 mile trip is wearing me out and costing me! Then I think about the closeness and how much I love being with him and how happy I am after my miserable marriage! I speak to friends/family about it but I could really do with some objective advice!

[theresonlyme]

When my DH and I met we lived far away and it would take about 2 1/2 hours for him to get to me. He mostly came to me as I had a cat I didn't want to leave for too long and tbh I am not a fan of travelling but I did go to his sometimes.

This went on from Jan 1996 to April 1998. He then decided to buy a house and said if he got lonely living on his own (we had been living together for about 4 months in my flat as his new job was nearer to my flat than his) he would ask me to live with him.

I said no. I would have been starting a new nanny job as mine was soon finishing and it wouldn't have been fair to leave the family after a short time and also I might not want to leave the child/ren.

We moved together. Engaged 6 months later and married 9 months after that.

I guess my point is long distant relationships can work, even if one half does most of the travelling, but I accept in your case the distance is further.

Good luck.

[Dropdeadfred]

could you pay for HIM to travel sometimes? just so he knows how it feels and so you are not so knackered?

[lorelei58]

oh yes, I forgot, I have a cat too and hate leaving her! Glad it worked out for you. And that's a good idea dropdead, at least I wouldn't be so tired.

[Dropdeadfred]

my dh and i lived 250 miles away from each other at first..then i moved and it was about 120 miles..then we made the leap and moved in together!

[lorelei58]

Did you have kids? That's what makes it so much more complicated for us. And how did you cope with missing eachtother?

[theresonlyme]

The only kid I had was furry and I missed him like mad but lived for Wed and Friday when we saw each other.

[Dropdeadfred]

i had two dds...he had none. I had to be sure before i would agree to uproot them and move in with him....but we were married last year after 12 years..it was worth all the heartache! [GRIN]