It appears my family hate me, but noone thought to say...

[Iamagrownup]

I've fallen out with my brother (an ongoing dispute mostly caused by his wife and things to do with my wedding a couple of years ago). I'd really hoped we could sort it out this year, as we seemed to get on OK a recent family bash (his wife didn't come)

Anyway, blah blah blah, I made sarcastic comment I shouldn't have done as I was a bit upset about not being invited to his 40th birthday party. Now all the bitterness has resurfaced, and he announced that noone in my family really likes me and they all think I'm a pretentious bitch etc etc.

I don't know what to do or whether to bother doing anything...or should I just emigrate and forget about it?

[smellen]

I don't know you or the circumstances surrounding this, but take heart - your brother is not qualified to speak for all your family, and people often say hateful and hurtful things in the heat of an argument. It is unlikely that everyone in your family hates you.

Don't emigrate just yet. Give it some time, and when things have cooled down perhaps you can talk to your brother, or at least get in touch with other members of your family and spend some time together.

[thisisyesterday]

agree with smellen.
it sounds like the kind of childish thing you come out with in an argument when you're about 8 "well, no-one liks you anyway so nerrrrrr"

he cannot speak for the rest of your family and if I were you I would let it rest for a while, and then get in touch with the rest of the family and just, well, see how it goes,.

do you have any reasoin at all to suspect that your entire family hates you?????

[Iamagrownup]

My brother and I fell out over two years ago! I believe it possible that my dad has said things to other members of the family that would stir things up, as I know he thinks I am a bit 'perfect' although he never says anything.

I'm more upset that my brother made a comment about something I'd allegedly said about how my sister parents which she is upset about (she hasn't said to me) I don't think I have said anything, certainly not to her face! All I can think is my dad has said stuff, he often gets things wrong and stirs things up.

No-one (except my brother and wife) gets on with my Dad's new wife, so I don't see him much either. My dad thinks I am a trouble causer after I fell out with my brother, but he only heard their side of the story.

[smellen]

It does sound very complicated - but you are not alone. I know of very few families where everyone gets on all the time; often people have to rub along for the sake of the family as a whole. Sadly being someone's sibling doesn't mean you always have loads in common.

That said, when the dust has settled perhaps you can work on building bridges with those members of your family who you feel most comfortable with.

Hope it works out for you, and trust you have good friends to offer you an ear and a glass of wine!

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

think we all have family members that we don't like and find it hard to get on with and what makes it worse is despite all the awful and totally unacceptable things that these people do you are expected to smile and rise above it!!
as if it were you with the problem lol!
Iamagrownup do what I do and remind yourself of the old saying about family and friendsas ive found it the only way!

[Iamagrownup]

I do have (or thought I had) a quite good relationship with my sisters - I see them quite a lot, so now am genuinely worried that they don't really like me, or think that I am horrible aswell (but are too nice to say). Maybe they just humour me because I'm their sister?

I have 8 siblings - so it would be a lot of people not liking me, other than my brother (and prob my dad by the looks of it)

I feel genuinely upset, I should have just let sleeping dogs lie and not expect anything from my brother and then I wouldn't be worried.

[smellen]

I don't think you should worry to much about something cruel your brother said to you in a heated argument. You can love people without always liking every aspect of their personality or views etc. It must be true that loving someone is just as dependent on accepting their quirks and weaknesses, as loving their qualities. Family relationships are a bit like that - you know each other's faults and strengths, and love each other despite the former and because of the latter.

Don't worry too much - am sure you are loved by your siblings (at least most of them!)

SOrry if a bit incoherent - NY's eve and all that.

[Iamagrownup]

Ahh thanks for the replies. I have spoken the majority of my family and it seems I am loved after all . Of course, you were right about my brother just being mean in the heat of an argument!