DP doesn't want to live with me 'officially' - but what about new baby?

[soonamum]

I'm 3 months pregnant with my first child, me and DP are delighted. We live together, but DP is registered at his mum's address for all official things for one reason and another (nothing dodgy!).

I expected he'd move his official stuff here now, but he says he sees no reason to change it all over. This worries me a bit.

Just to be clear, I'm secure in our relationship, I'm not worried about this from an emotional or commitment point of view - he's a wonderful guy and is going to be a great dad.

But on a practical level, will this cause us problems? In case it's relevant - we both work, our combined income is relatively low at the moment. The mortgage is in my name.

If we don't live together officially will we be missing out on things like tax credit? (Not sure how that works yet!)

Will this cause other problems or am I worrying about nothing?

(P.S. Am a regular but name changed for this as am easily identifiable in RL from MN name).

[soonamum]

Sorry, "DP and I" for the pedants!

[slightlybonkers]

have no idea about tax credits etc as i don't live in the UK but wouldn't think it matters if he is still registered for practical reasons at his mum's address.

[Mumfun]

very very minor but you are definitely supposed to have your driving license registered to the address you actually live

[tribpot]

Do you live together? Share bills? You don't pay council tax for him at your house?

[Fizzylemonade]

How long have you been together?

Personally I would be very worried about any man keeping his parent's address as his "legal" address.

He is lying in effect to every organisation. Are his bank and credit card details registered at his parents? Doctors? Electoral Register? Driving licence? Car insurance Do you pay a full council tax charge?

He should move everything over to your address just from a legal standpoint. I don't know if it effects your claim for tax credits. But at the end of the day he lives with you so should be registered as living with you.

[soonamum]

Thanks for your replies.

tribpot We do live together and share bills, but they are all in my name. He isn't registered for council tax here, but as we have a lodger we are not down as a single person household anyway, so not saving any money IFYSWIM.

Fizzylemonade
He hasn't been to the Dr in years (he's very proud of this!) He's on the electoral roll at his mums, his driving licence is registered there but no insurance as no car at the moment. His bank details are there too. We've lived together under a year - before he moved in we lived in different towns. Where he lived before the landlord was sub-letting and said he couldn't register his details there so had to register himself somewhere else.

It being the legal thing to do won't convince him to change - there would need to be a real practical reason. If there isn't one I'm happy for this arrangement to continue, but it makes me feel uneasy as I'm sure there must be a practical reason why not, and I really don't want to find out the hard way! - but I can't think of it - wondering if anyone can?!

[Tortington]

might be a blessing honey!

leave it if i were you. if you feel secure in your relationship - just leave it.

i hope you live a long and happy life together and die peacefully in each others arms after 60 years of a committed relationship.

but if by some small chance things go tits up

the house is in your name and he doesn't actually have any ties to it.



always keep yourself safe and secure - think on.

[HappyMummyOfOne]

You'll need to declare him on your tax credits claom if he lives with you as you are a couple so cant claim as a single person.

There is a large fine re DVLA for not registering at the correct address - also his insurance may be invalid if its being based at another address.

I personally wouldnt be happy in this situation, its one thing to have a few things in single names, another to keep everything at another address.