Unwanted Admirer

[MrsSnape]

I learned this morning that a young man has taken a "fondess" to me. He's from the karate club and he is a lovely bloke but he's only 21. I have a feeling that his grandma has pushed the issue with him too.

He's far too young for me but when she told me about it this morning, I just didn't know how to react at all and then she suggested we be friends and see where it leads I just nodded and before she left she said "so, is that ok with you then?" so I just said "yes" as I didn't want to offend ... so she replied "oh good, that will put a smile on his face when I tell him!"

I don't know what to do. I don't want to start being cold with him because he'll know why and will think I just don't like him but I don't want to encourage it either...perhaps I have encouraged it already by being so friendly with him but I just didn't think for one minute he'd look at me in that way.

It's going to make karate class REALLY awkward

[thequietone]

God I wish someone would take a fondness with me - I'm jealous!

[annaje]

Don't be cold, keep up your friendly chats, but if he pushes it to a 'date', turn him down gently by maybe suggesting you have DP.

[MrsSnape]

I can't really lie to him about a DP as his family knows me and live a few streets away so it's hard to escape it!

[annaje]

oh - that makes it more difficult. The grandmother shouldn't have put you on the spot like that - I bet he's embarrassed about it too!

[AuraofDora]

what is granny gonna tell him?

could you brazen it out and have quiet word with him after class (you are great guy n all but am not looking for relationship / anyone right now..)

[humbugger]

How old are you? (feel free to give a ballpark figure) Bit odd his gran setting it up.

[MrsSnape]

I'm almost 30. I know it's not a huge difference but I have always gone for older men too, never younger and never, ever anyone barely through their teens!

[jesuswhatnext]

mrssnape - don't rule him out
my dh is 10 years younger than me and much more fun than an 'older man' if you get my drift

[Bink]

Poor chap. I wish someone could advise him to call his granny off - that is so not an effective pulling move.

[MrsSnape]

Well I saw her tonight and she said "I'll get you his phone number and you could maybe give him a ring"

She is the type to overtake and interfere so I'm hoping he's just said something about me in passing and she's jumped on it and turned it into a massive deal.

I saw her talking to my karate instructor this morning too so I hope she isn't spreading it around that he has a new 'couple' in his class

[solidgoldbrass]

Just be friendly to the young man but don't agree to any contact outside class. He probably won't ask you on a date. it is actually more than likely that Granny is trying to set you up with him because she knows you are single and she is terrified he might be gay therefore she is desperate to throw him at any single woman she can find.
He may be utterly mortified and/or angry about her behaviour.

[bran]

You could say to him that you had the oddest conversation with his grandmother, you weren't really sure what it was about, is she OK? He may well say that she is an interefering old bag who is always trying to organise the lives of family members and not to take anything she says to heart.

I would be willing to bet that he hasn't said anything at all to her about you, but she knows that you're single and have the same interests as her grandson (sports-wise anyway) and has decided to fill her empty hours with other people's business.

[MrsSnape]

very likely. I mean, a few months back she was telling me about another girl she "thought" he was keen on and started detailing all her plans to get them together!