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How often do you have sex?

(129 Posts)
charx Mon 15-Sep-08 00:14:05

I'm doing a straw poll here. DH says I'm not normal. According to him everyone else is having sex 3 or 4 times a week.
I'm a SAHM to a DD (2). I'm just pretty tired most of the time. I know it doesn't help that I have low self esteem with regard to body image/weight issues etc) but I really struggle to get into the mood to have sex. So at this moment in time I'm averaging once every 8 weeks.

Anyone else want to share?

Saturn74 Mon 15-Sep-08 00:16:13

Exhaustion is not conducive to dangling from the chandeliers.
Do you and your DH get much chance to go out alone?

Joolyjoolyjoo Mon 15-Sep-08 00:34:48

I have 3 kids (4,3 and 10 months) and probably have sex about 2-3 times a week, but I have always had quite a high sex drive, and sometimes go along with it even if I don't initially feel in the mood. But I really dont think it is fair of your DH to say you are "not normal"- the body image thing is a toughie for me too, and maybe if he put more effort into making you feel good about yourself and less into trying to make you feel less-than-normal, he might persuade you to have sex more often!

thumbwitch Mon 15-Sep-08 00:37:34

sex? what's that then?
I seem to remember having it about a year ago, maybe 14m; oh and then there was some drunken fumbling about 1m ago in a hotel after a wedding, but while bf'ing my 9mo DS, sex is so far off my radar that I'm amazed my DH copes at all! bless him grin

solo Mon 15-Sep-08 00:38:01

Once every eight weeks would be a dream for me atm. I had sex last week, but have had it only twice in over two years - not from my choice, but total lack of interest from him.

anniemac Mon 15-Sep-08 00:39:27

Message withdrawn

anniemac Mon 15-Sep-08 00:42:06

Message withdrawn

firsttimemama Mon 15-Sep-08 00:45:58

We have a DD aged 2 and my husband works shifts we do it about once every 3 weeks he would like it more but we seem to have found a compromise (he may not agree). I have to say though that it is pretty good sex when we do have it so I think the quality factor is important and with increased quantity this might slip. I am also overweight and feel that if I lost a couple of stone I may be more up for it and then it might be every ten days or so.

DrHorrible Mon 15-Sep-08 07:46:05

This week, about 7 times with hassling in between shock

Normally, once every fortnight or so.

DH is confused wink

lilymolly Mon 15-Sep-08 07:49:06

normally about every 3 months for us.
Its my choice I have a very low sex drive.
Currently 14 weeks pregnant and not had it since conception - and prob wont happen until 41 weeks when I am desperate to get it out grin

Morning Charx - we have sex about 1 or 2 times a week, but my DH works shifts so some weeks more some less.

We work hard at it (iykwim) - we had a severe year or so, when sex wasn't really on the agenda, for many reasons. So, now we plan ahead. My DH and I are both afternoon people, so now school has started again, hopefully I'll get a bit more action wink

xxx

minorbird Mon 15-Sep-08 08:14:52

Strewth, once a week if he's lucky!

GooseyLoosey Mon 15-Sep-08 08:19:27

About twice a week. DH thinks that this is not normal and he should be getting it twice a day shock! Not having sex more often causes a lot of tension in our marriage.

Sex and money are the two things couples are most likely to argue about.

I don't think there is any 'normal' - it's what works for you. If you're both happy with the frequency (as well as the quality!) then that's all that matters.

But if you're not happy, then you need to discuss it. You will both have to compromise if one wants it every 5 minutes and the other only wants it every 5 years!

anyfucker Mon 15-Sep-08 08:26:35

very variable

we have 'dry spells' of 2-3 weeks of nothing and then 'hot spells' of every day for 2-3 days.

girlsnextdoor Mon 15-Sep-08 08:55:35

once in 8 years- combination of me having a chronic health issue and also not knowing what I feel for my DH.

Think on that if you think you aren't doing it.getting it enough smile

sarah293 Mon 15-Sep-08 09:05:30

I'm with girlnextdoor. Once every 5 years due to hideous childbirth damage, exhaustion and stress. Oh, and child who doesn't sleep till midnight and has seizures.

thequietone Mon 15-Sep-08 09:09:11

Wish me luck, ladies. I've had sex once in the last 7 months, and it was painful and horrid. Today I've moved DS2 (7 months) out of the bedroom and into the spare room that DH has been in the last 7 months. We've only slept in the same bed about 7 times since DS2 was born.

I've no self-confidence since DS2 was born, and am actually worried about tonight.

thequietone Mon 15-Sep-08 09:09:55

I don't know whether I'm scared about the sex, or whether it won't happen because he doesn't like me anymore sad

Jeepney Mon 15-Sep-08 09:15:33

I'm sure it will happen thequietone. I bet your DP will be feeling just as nervous as you!! smile

For me 3 - 4 times a week and thats still not enough for DP

Tortington Mon 15-Sep-08 09:16:26

two times a week, would be more if it was up to me.

we have a new bed and the mattress squeeks - and this very sexually stifling in a house where one can hear everything - and we have four teenagers living here at the moment.

IndigoMoon Mon 15-Sep-08 09:21:03

once a week on average. i mostly just want to sleep. dh gets really annoyed and thinks 3 -4 times a week is the normal but i would prefer quality.

wja Mon 15-Sep-08 09:22:18

3-4 times a week with 18mth old ds. dh works shifts so "siestas" when I'm less tired and baby napping r sooo nice.

bythepowerofgreyskull Mon 15-Sep-08 09:22:21

I try to motivate myself to do it once a week. but that so easily drifts to once a fortnight.........+
Back in the swing of the school routine this week so will probably manage to get back to once a week.
DH would like it a bit more but when I was particularly keen whilst pregnant he didn;t want to do it more than once a day. blush

Hobnobfanatic Mon 15-Sep-08 09:24:51

With my new partner - every night (but we're still on the 'honeymoon phase')! With my ex of 12 years, it became pretty infrequent due to my low self-esteeem and having a child. Depression is a key factor in a low sex-drive. Therapy after the break-up boosted my self-esteeem and my sex drive got back on track.

The quietone - that's so sad. Don't fret about tonight; any stress won't help - just cuddling and rebuilding bonds is a good starting point. Putting pressure on yourself is a sure-fire way to dampen your ardour.

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