Partner proposed at the weekend & it feels WIERD!...

[flamingnora]

We've been together for 4 years and have 5mo DD. Relationship appears to be going from strength to strength & we're in love & happy. At my brother's wedding on Saturday he asked me if I'd like to get married (I.e. - not exactly a proposal!) I said yes and we've been chatting about it in a fairly abstract way since then - agreeing we'd like to get married in Winter 2009. No engagement ring (which I'm fine about in itself, but therefore there's no reason to tell anyone until we actually set a date & book the venue!). I'm a total control freak & I feel a bit in limbo about it all. I want to motor ahead and check out venues etc & he's showing a pretty laissez faire attitude (a royal pain in the arse as I think a perfect place for the "do" would be his old college & he needs to pick up the phone to make this happen!). This feels like a total non-event when I think it should feel like a huge deal. I feel quite excited but am not sure why & I don't feel able to tell anyone to share the happiness. Help me please - I worry I am turning into Bridezilla & I am not quite sure how I'm supposed to feel?!

[MsHighwater]

Give yourself (and him) a chance - you only just got engaged. Why not concentrate on getting a ring (doesn't have to be fantastically expensive if money is an issue) so that you can tell people you are engaged and take it from there?

[surprise]

If you are a control frreak, then you're feeling like this because nothing's happening yet. Give yourselves a week or two to get used to the idea then start organising. Once you get into the swing of that you'll be fired with enthusiasm I bet!

[JessJess3908]

Tell him you're really happy but it won't feel real until you've got the ring - because that's the way you've always imagined it would be when your prince charming popped the question.

Hopefully he'll get the hint and enjoy living up to your fantasy?

After you've got that sorted then feel free to bridezilla ahead. Put on a deep voice and ring his college pretending to be him if you have to...

[mistlethrush]

Expect him to do nothing for the organisation of a wedding and then you won't be disappointed!

Dh was given very small, discrete jobs (ie ones that didn't rely on any other arrangements) - he booked the honeymoon (strict guidelines) and the wedding car.

I took him to OK the venue. I took him to organise suit hire - and got other people organised on this.

I sourced the wine to try out (he helped to sample and OK!)

My mother and I did most of the rest.

If its his college you're interested, get him to give you the contact name and number.

That way, you'll be in control so won't be panic stricken!

[flamingnora]

Thanks guys! Have calmed down a wee bit & am going to give him a month to call his college before turning into Bridezilla!

[TillyScoutsmum]

Congratulations

It is very tempting to go all guns blazing and as ridiculous as it sounds, lots of venues can get booked up ages in advance (especially for Saturdays)

Just tell him you want to get the date set and venue booked and will then not do anything else for a few months

Oh - and come and join us on our bride to be thread... We can all concern ourselves about the napkins matching the bridesmaids knickers and give our dp's a break link

[flamingnora]

TillyScoutsmum - thanks a million! I will hot-foot it to the thread ASAP!