I'm a regular mumsnetter (been around since 2004) with a namechange, asbolutely not a troll. I hope you understand why after reading my post (sorry sounds a bit slef important, not meant to). It has taken some nerve to write this so please don't be too judgy.
I haven't told anyone about this except my best friend and more recently my new partner for reasons which I will explain later.
Around this time last year, I suffered a really horrible assault at the hands of someone who I thought was a friend - I can't really bear to recall the details of it even now. I had no intention of reporting it then and I don't feel able to now, because of the circumstances. We had already slept together before you see and I had been quite promiscuous before which I know some people would judge me for. Also I couldn't bear to face him and talk about what happened because I think he is the sort of person who would enjoy reliving things IYSWIM
Anyway my attitude was to try and just put it behind me, not smart I know but I really wanted to try and forget. Well that has come right back to bite me on the bum because I can't forget - I don't think I ever will
I have started suffering flashbacks which are very upsetting and quite intense. I don't know how to deal with these.
Also as I have got closer to my new partner I have started feeling intensely angry with him and I think it may be related to this. I don't mean I behave nastily to him but I often go quiet and don't talk to him - he is lovely, very kind, and does not deserve it. After one of these episodes I plucked up courage (?) to tell him as I felt he deserved an explanation for my weird mood and he was understanding, didn't blame me, although was angry on my behalf.
I don't know what I want but I needed to put this down in writing, to make some sort of sense of it because I want to try and move on. I want to deal with things and not feel so angry. I don't want it to spoil my new relationship. (Sorry what a lot of I's - how self centred!)
Reading back I see that I have gone a bit more than I intended to. Has anyone been through this? How have you dealt with it?
Thank you very much to anyone who has read through that.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How can I move on from this horribl experience?
badheadache · 09/07/2008 19:05
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