Oooh heck!!! (following on from MIL discussion really)

[MandyD]

Can anyone advise? My DP has a half sister (MIL, FIL and her live quite nearby) who was 18 this week. And we forgot. What could we do to make amends??

A bit of background, DP was married before and has a son who he doesn't see. Long story, DP's ex-wife has remarried and while they were getting divorced DP fell out with her parents who she was living with. All things conspired against him and so he doesn't see his son anymore.

His son's birthday is 2 days before his sister's. DP was 15 when his sister was born and was forced to leave home. Therefore DP always has emotional problems around this time of year. Normally I remember to remind him about his sister's birthday but this week I've had problems too with builders messing me about etc. And I forgot

Who should apologise to MIL (and SIL) first, do you think, and what would you suggest doing to make it up?

[jasper]

MandyD I don't see it needs to be a big deal really.
Everyone has such busy lives these days we all forget things, both big and small all the time, at least sure as heck I do.
Why not just get her a present and card and phone up and say "when can we drop in with your birthday gift, sorry it's a bit late!"

I don't see why it should involve MIL at all.
If he was forced to leave home at the age of 15 his family sound a bit odd or am I reading too much into it?
If he has to go grovelling to his mum and sister to be "forgiven" I'd say hell mend the lot of them

I have a brother and we love each other dearly but he has not remembered my birthday EVER and I couldn't care less.

[MandyD]

Thanks Jasper! Problem is, he spoke to his sister tonight and it was a case of "thanks for forgetting my birthday, a*-wpe!", so wouldn't we look very false if we got anything now?

We'd also been wondering why MIL hadn't rung up this week, that's probably why, hey?

And, yes, they are very odd. I've always called anything to do with his family The Twilight Zone! I don't suppose its a case of forgiveness really, just a watertight explanation required and something really good by way of compensation!

[robinw]

message withdrawn

[Bozza]

Agree that your DP should approach his sister direct. She will probably mention it to your MIL/show her the present later.