MIL and how I hate her

[MrSSnoop]

When MIL found out I was pregnant the first thing she asked was "what names do you have?". I told her we were not thinking about names until the baby was actually born and then we were looking to look at him or her and decide what suits.

MIL then said she'd always liked the name "Lucy" for a girl and "Liam" for a boy. I said that's nice but not names I would choose. She then went in a strop and said I was being rude about her names and she bets my names are crap.

DH took her side and said I was being rude but agreed that he didn't like her names either.

Anyway DD was born on the 14th and MIL instantly asked what we had called her. When we told her she was all up in arms saying it was a disgusting name for a child and if we went ahead and registered her as that MIL would continue to call her Lucy and tell everyone else that her name was Lucy too.

What annoys me even more is that DH is now starting to take her side and saying maybe we should change her name incase she gets picked on for it (although not to Lucy).

To add insult to injury my own mum has now admitted that she hates the name and my sister apparantly thought it was a joke.

Would you dig your heels in or compromise on the name? Everyone I've spoken to either pulls a face or outright admits that they don't like it. It makes me cross because even if I didn't like a name, I wouldn't say it to the parents.

[umberella]

what on earth is dd's name?

[mumblechum]

Oh dear.

TBH I think you may be overreacting just a teeny bit to your mil asking what names you had in mind when you were pregnant, and then what you'd called her when your dd was born.

OTOH, it's clearly unreasonable of her to call your dd by another name when referring to her to other people and she needs telling to put up or shut up.

Dare I ask what you've called dd????

[Carmenere]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that although mil sounds like a pain in the arse, she might be right. If al those people who love you and your child think that the name is awful, perhaps it is awful.....

[halogen]

"if we went ahead and registered her as that MIL would continue to call her Lucy and tell everyone else that her name was Lucy too."

That bit is totally barmy. I think she ought to listen to herself!

I also really want to know what you have called your daughter.

[Twelvelegs]

Name change and post elsewhere about the name....
If you and your DH liked the name at the time of her birth sod everyone else.

[bumpybecky]

can't possibly comment until you tell us your dd's name

[halogen]

Even if the name is awful, though, it's still not okay to just ignore what the child's name is. I mean, a bit of gentle persuasion away from a terrible name, fine. Saying you're going to ignore what someone has called their child, even if it is Moon Unit or Apple or whatever, not okay at all!

[Tortington]

i would like to know the name

but that isn't the issue

you have to tell dh this minute - that he has a new nuclear family and his mother isn't in it - and he better decide what side of the fucking fence he is on - as you expect him to back you up all the way and talk to you descreetly if he disagrees.

you need to tell MIL that her attutude is childish ans if it doesn't improve, her relationship with her grandaughter and eventually son - will deteriorate

make sure you are on your own - then even if completely out of character (esp so) wink then say "i guarentee it"

then leave pronto!!

your alpha female in your nuclear family - you need to sharpen your claws dear becuase this shit is primeval

or this woman will rule you forever

tell your mum tough
tell your sister to fuck right off

there sorted

[Bobbiewickham]

Agree with Custardo.

So, what's your daughter called?

[LittleMyDancing]

a friend recently named her son something quite unusual - at the time everyone was quite taken aback but a few months down the line noone bats an eyelid.

and he has very sensible middle names, so he can use those if he wants to when he's older.

as for MIL - Custardo is right. She can voice an opinion but as for calling your DD a different name.....she needs telling.

[Twelvelegs]

Have to say I have always believed the person most important (ie BOSS) in any family is the mother of the next generation... that's you.

[MrSSnoop]

Thanks for the replies. We knew from the off that we were going to call him or her something unusual as we dislike usual, normal names as they are just not individual. I like the red Indian kind of thing, to name a person after themselves.

So we took one look at DD and called her Slithery because that's what she was at that time. Plus the name can be shortered to Sliths as she gets older or she can even change it herself if she wants to.

This isn't the only incident we've had with MIL laying the law down, the last time she wouldn't "allow" us to buy the sofa we wanted and instead ordered us one of her choosing because she knew DH wouldn't send it back as it was a "present".

[RosaLuxembunting]

Chortle.

[MrSSnoop]

And her middle name is Anne sos he could go by that if she doesn't like having an unusual name.

[Twelvelegs]

Littlelapin, please do not advertise the name of my PFB, little moony, everyone will use it!!!

[Tortington]

you have a slithery too?

OMG i can't beolieve it - every other kid rund here is called that.

i have
ds1 - slithery
ds2 - gunky
dd1 - placenta

[lljkk]

Get a dog and call it Lucy.

[Bobbiewickham]

Slithery Anne.

Erm....

[Bobbiewickham]

My eldest is called Breech.

The youngest is called Rabbit Bum.

[AttilaTheAntiHun]

Oh this is a joke, surely.
What's her middle name? four-by-four? fruit shoot?

[jumpingbeans]

Plese tell me this is a joke and you have not really called your darling baby girl sliterhy

[MrSSnoop]

it was better than DH's first suggestion, he wanted to call her Blood. I suppose that would have been ok had she grown up to be a goth or something.

But no its not a wind up, I understand its not everyones taste (or suppose ANYONE elses taste) but it was our choice and I really can't stand the thought of MIL ruling our lives.