Sex vs. reading - help!

[bella29]

Hi all

Bit of a problem. I really enjoy reading in bed but dh just wants to sleep, or have sex. If I choose to read instead of sex, I feel really guilty (i.e. that I am not so tired that I need to go straight to sleep, but that I choose a book instead of sex). Dh falls asleep very quickly if we don't have sex so I can't read and have sex...

Advice please!!!

[morningpaper]

go to bed earlier and enjoy your reading time before any action

or just read lying on your stomach and give him permission to continue

[BeachBunni]

Opposites in our house. Dp likes to read before going to sleep but I would prefer to have sex (have completely different sex drives). Sometimes it annoys me up because like you say he's not that tired that he wants to go to sleep, but I've just got used to it now. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, he just takes care of me before reading.
Dp also bought a torch to read so if your dh falls asleep quite quickly you could wait for him to fall asleep then read with your torch.

[DaDaDa]

Read and have sex at the same time. Perhaps something you can both enjoy like Anais Nin or Autotrader?

[bella29]

Autotrader?!!!!

Very clever morningpaper - but I reckon all the bouncing and reading at the same time might make me car sick!

[youknownothingofthecrunch]

I read every night, DH wants sex, he gets it if I'm in the mood.

I've never categorised them in the same way: Sex is sweaty and energetic, reading is quiet and relaxing (unless reading something sweaty ).

Am I horrible for never having felt guilt about this. ever?

[SummatAndNowt]

There are 7 nights in a week! Surely you can read some of them without feeling guilty!

[clumsymum]

Read something HOT. As he's lying there dozing next to you, read out some juicy bits. It'll help to put you in the mood, and adds a certain ...... !!

[witchandchips]

I have sex and then read, dp does sometimes gets a bit miffed that i'm reading rather than basking in a haze of post coital bliss!

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

I have sex then read if I'm in the mood for both of them. I wouldn't say I ALWAYS want to read and certainly don't ALWAYS want sex. What's the problem? Are you not allowed to read if DH is asleep? Mine can sleep with the light on so I suppose that's not a problem for me.

[clumsymum]

Blimey, I can't imagine wanting to read after we have ...., I just want to snuggle and sleep. I can imagine that dh would feel he may have underperformed if I picked up a book afterwards.

Sometimes read, then turn out the light, snuggle up and then .....

[jellybelly25]

Same here as beachbunni. I do like to do both, but i would prioritise sex over reading, and do feel peed off when i know he will read until he falls asleep and then by the time i get into bed he's already reading and i know thats sex off the agenda for that night at least! but yeah i think we're just different. he'd rather do it in the morning but risks a black eye if he wakes me any earlier than absolutely necessary (i am not a morning person)

[littlewoman]

Just because you're awake, doesn't mean you have to have sex anymore than just because you're awake in the day you have to be doing housework. Don't feel guilty. It's your choice to make.

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

We both read, and then sometimes have sex! Sometimes he goes to sleep while I am still reading, sometimes (like now!) he is upstairs sleeping, having read for a while, and when I go he might or might not be affable to a little romp! I guess what I mean is be flexible (not literally- I'm not suggesting you become a contortionist!! Although...then you could read and have sex at the same time!)

[madamez]

Is the problem really about reading, or is it that your DP thinks he is entitled to sex whenever his willy wiggles? When a couple have mismatched libidos (ie one wants a lot more sex than the other does) they have to talk about it and work out a way of keeping both of them reasonably happy, rather than ending up resenting each other for not wanting exactly the same thing at the same time.