Have you had a devastating split, with kids, and eventually gone on to find Mr Fabulous?

[Twoddle]

Encouragement for those of us for whom it seems impossible at the moment.

[piratecat]

I soooooooooo want to hear the positive stories here!!

[LaComtesse]

Bring it on

[Baffy]

Great thread

[Twoddle]

Ha! Four of us wanting to hear the stories, no stories yet.

Come on ladies. Make them up?!

Thanks in anticipation ...

[ChasingSquirrels]

in the middle of the devastating split atm unfortunately, but live in hope for some distant point in the future.

[Fimbo]

I think you need MrsMiggins

[Twoddle]

Ooh, OK. Thanks. Come on MrsMiggins.

Because you see, I've noticed that on every supportive thread about other halves doing the unthinkable and families falling apart as a result, you lovely lot say how we'll heal in time and find a man we truly deserve; a lovely, loyal person. But yesterday, I spotted a thread about step-children, which was asking who'd get together with a man with kids from a previous relationship. And it seems many women wouldn't. So why's everyone so sure it's going to happen the other way around, for us? I want evidence!

MrsMiggins - are you there?

[ChasingSquirrels]

Have to say I thought the same reading that thread.
My dc's are 5 and 2, and while it will be quite a time before I am interested in a relationship again, I do know that I will be.
Then again they will grow up and leave home at some point, and then while I will still have children, I won't have them in the same way.
But do I want to wait 15 years!!

[brightwell]

I have! Ex had a string of flings resulting in an extremely acrimonious & emotional divorce which took 2 years to complete. During which I met my Dp, we don't live together and have no plans to. He comes over every weekend, he's loyal, loving, supportive, caring, all of which took a long time to get used to. He's taken to my 2 dc, he's decorated their rooms, he helps them with homework & school projects. He babysits for them so I can have evenings out. He runs them around, even takes dd to see bands that she wants to see but needs an adult to get in with. He's fantastic and I must tell him! We've been together 7 years.

[Monkeytrousers]

and WWW

[spiderpig]

Me me me!!!!!!!!

I went into my current relationship with two children after a messy split (well how many aren't!) and we have been together nearly eight years now and have two more beautiful children

He adores my children (all of them ) and treats me like a princess

I was with my ex a long time and from a very young age so I never thought I'd have what I have now

I honestly couldn't be happier, and whilst I normally don't like to brag if it's stories of hope your looking for I couldn't not post, we are still madly in love, blissfully happy and so are all of our children

xxx

[Nosnik]

Me and ex split up when DS was 12months. Long drawn out split with me 260 miles from home and friends, begging him to move out as I couldn't stand drunken rows any more, not fair on DS etc. Finally moved out with DS visiting him every other weekend. Within 3 months of him leaving I met a man out on the piss!!! I was v v v drunk and so was he, ended up going to this mans friends house and drinking more and having a little drunken fumble (mate fumbling with some other bloke!!) As dawn broke I offered man and other bloke to come to mine for bacon butties and a cuppa, (DS at his dads btw, not inviting strangers round when he was there!!!). We all fell asleep til bout lunch time then he and his mate went home. He rang during week, came back following Saturday to take me out for a drink, since that 2nd night we have spent 11 nights apart.

I am now 41 weeks pregnant with his baby and we have bought a house together, its our 5th anniversary on 16th June. Beat that!!!!!

There is hope for everyone, it hasn't been easy with ex being very jealous. DS loves DP like a dad, always refers to himself as DP's son, although he still calls him by his christian name given that he sees his biological father regularly.

[Nosnik]

I feel like that too Not. I sometimes think that I wasted 3 yrs with ex and then realise that without all that shit I would never have had DS never have moved here and met DP etc. Everything happens for a reason, cheesy sentiment but hey ho!

[chocolatespiders]

yeah some great stories wold be fab

been on my own with kids for 3 yeasr now and not so much as a snog.

[Twoddle]

Woohoo! We have some encouraging stories, ladies.

Thanks sooo much. Really, truly happy for you all, and feeling tentatively encouraged.

x

[Twoddle]

(Oops. In my excitement, I wrote "encouraged" twice!)

[Hassled]

Yes! Me! Split with ex in 1995, aged 29. On my own with 2 kids for 2 years, during which time I met DH. Moved in together 1997 - not always a walk in the park, especially re the stormy relationship between DH and DD - but I now have 2 more DCs, things have settled down and we finally married last year. DS1 and DD were our witnesses!

[GentleOtter]

After years of being on my own with two children but being WELL RID of psycho hosebeast I met the best man ever who is sweet, kind, not screwed up, hard working and honest.
My children look on him as 'Dad' even although they are older (25 and 11) and he is really good with them.
We now have a baby of our own and truthfully I have never felt happier. We have been together 6 years and celebrate our first wedding anniversary this week.

[Julezboo]

My and ex split up when DS1 was 3 months old, had a few flings in between, but met my wonderful DP when DS1 was 3, been together 3 yrs, getting married next yr and have another DS too :0

[WideWebWitch]

Hello.

It wasn't devastating (although divorce is NEVER pleasant) but I was married to dh1, we had a 2yo, and I left because it wasn't working. We'd been friends for 5 years and he's lovely, he just wasn't the right man for me. We're now friends again and very amicably divorced. I;m still close to his mother and sister - they come to our house and babysit for both children if dh#2 and I want to go away for a night or 2. When I needed somewhere to stay in London during the week a couple of years ago I lived with them for 6 months. Dh#1 voluntarily pays decent maintenance, more than he's legally obliged to. And he contributes to other costs if I ask him to (i.e. birthday parties, school trips, tuition). We have our differences but that's ok, we don't row or anything.

I met dh#2 after leaving dh#1 and have been v happily with him for 8 years now. We have a 4.5 yo. He is Mr Fabulous imo. He loves my son and our daughter, loves me, does at LEAST 50% of childcare, cooking, shopping, boring crap, is interesting, intelligent, kind, reliable , morally good (but NOT boring in the least) and I love him. We're all happy I was 33 when we met and he was 23. (we're not 41 and 31)

It can happen! Good luck.

[WideWebWitch]

We're NOW 41 and 31 that last line should say

[confusedmamma]

That has cheered me up no end. Thank you for all your lovely, realistic ( the meeting someone pissed bit )

[WideWebWitch]

dh#2 was a one night stand btw.