Wish me luck with my mum....

[Youcannotbeserious]

OK, for those of you who missed my first post about my mum....

I didn't tell my mum about my pregnancy until I was about 23weeks along....

Eventually 'told her' (Totally bottled it - sent her a card and had DH talk to her!!)

She was cool at first, but is working herself into a bit of a frenzy and I get a whole stream of questions every night now - about how I plan to do this / that / the other... (Mainly, How on EARTH will I cope, what with me being a complete waste of space etc etc)

SO, we are meeting up with her tomorrow for lunch.......... I know that she's feeling a bit left out (I've been pretty strict about telling her stuff, beacuse I just can't deal with all the questions!) so I have a few photos from the scan etc.,

I want it to go well, and I want her to see that everything is OK and it's nothing to worry about... Any tips for what I could bring her (other than the photos?)

Oh, and wish me luck!!!

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Just take yourself and the pics. If she can't be interested without you giving her gifts then stuff her.

Something for Mother's Day but as a separate thing to the baby.

[lollipopmother]

What NAB said, and don't go in there with expectations, she sounds just like my mum, completely incapable of being positive or just keeping her trap shut when she's not. I didn't tell my mum anything for a long time after she shocked me by saying she thinks I'll die in labour, but she's calmed down now and I expect that's due to the fact I completely froze her out.

[littlewoman]

I really am surprised that someone would be scared/nervous of telling their mum that they're having her baby. why do you feel you need her permission? please don't take that offensively.

[ally90]

I think I remember your first post...but under a different name?

There is nothing really you can do to convince her you are capable of being a mother. And nothing you can take. If she was capable of seeing you as an adult, she would have done so by now.

BTW 'whole stream of questions every night' IS UNREASONABLE!!! You don't deserve this unremitting stream of negativity from ANYONE let alone your own mother. And the reason she is feeling left out is because she is being left out because of her own behaviour!

Please consider asking her to phone less. Or answer less. How on earth is your confidence with her constantly bringing you down??

But anyway, I wish you luck! Its not easy having a mother like this. Your being extremely forgiving of her unreasonable behaviour

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

How did lunch go?

[Kimi]

hope it went well

[Youcannotbeserious]

She cancelled. They didn't like the pub I chose.

ANd, yes, I name changed... sorry!

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

at your mother.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

I remember you from previously even with the name change.

Not unfortunately all that surprosed to see that she cancelled; auch toxic and narcissitic people are incapable of being in any way reasonable.