time to involve solicitors (sorry to rant)

[TLV]

I'm sat here in tears because quite frankly i've had enough of the arrogant arsehole called my husband but soon to be ex. He left my daughter and I nearly 4 months ago, I've done the begging pleading to the point where I was harrassing him to letting him get on with it then coming and going as he pleased including sleeping with me, he has bullied me threatened me with his solicitor the police and social services (for taking my dd out after 7pm to go see him?!?!) he said that I nagged him for 1hr which was infact me trying to persuade him to come home not just for us but for dd, he has said that he slept with me just so he could feel normal again?!?!? eh.

We were doing relate so we could try to communicate for dd sake but even that has not worked, dd was ill and i took her to the out of hours clinic at the hospital, he asked if he should go and then said well if i don't you will say I don't care!?!?! he has stayed over for over 3 nights this week (yes we slept together, so he could feel normal?!?) he is so cold and callous and has even changed towards dd telling her that if she didn't behave daddy wouldn't stay (who the feck says that to a 2.5yr old)

I have bent over backwards for him and now enough is enough, he usually has her one day at the weekend well i've told him to stay away till he has gone through his solicitor anything he has to say can now be done through his solicitor, this is what he wanted and so this is what he is getting (he has seen her alot this week btw) but now i have to think of us both and try to start building our life without him, yes he can see her but i've let him call all the shots but not anymore, so sorry for the rant but I've let the bastard walk all over me, its life invasion of the body snatchers, someone has taken away a doting father and great dh and replaced him with a shit

[tissy]

why are you sleeping with him?

[magsi]

TLV - apart from everything else, can't quite believe he would threaten to your dd at 2.5 'if you don't behave, daddy won't stay' what a b*ard!!!

Stay strong.

And remember, you are divorcing this man, do not let HIM into YOUR bed at all, for whatever reason!!

x

[Parsleypants]

TLV, I work with two-year-olds and the thought of anyone saying that to a child of that age makes my blood boil.

I am also a lone parent and my divorce is about to be finalised.

Do not sleep with him again, under any circumstances.

You are right to set parameters. Keep calm (I know how hard it is) and stay strong.

You may need to go through solicitors at the moment as it is still raw, but bear in mind they are bloomin' expensive and the costs rack up with every letter and phone call.

Your situation sounds awful, but it will improve. I am sorry I don't have anything more useful to add but I hope it helps to know that someone is thinking of you in a good way!

Put you and your DD first.

Good luck.

[TLV]

i slept with because i love him or thought i loved him, and I'm not divorcing him he is divorcing me, I now have a hysterical dd crying for cuddles which happens every bloody night because of what he's done, she is so scared when i leave the room i'm not coming back, feck feck feck, will be back once i've calmed her down!

[Parsleypants]

Unfortunately you are going to have to be mum and dad and chief comforter - that's the way it goes. No, it's not bloody fair, but what else can you do? Stay strong and you will reach a much better place, I promise you.

[magsi]

You WILL feel better, Your Dd WILL get settled, your self respect WILL return. Sounds like you have made the very important step of deciding not to be walked all over which takes a lot of guts. He won't like this strength and be prepared for him to try to break it down again.

Stay strong for your Dd

[TLV]

dd now calm, for how long i don't know, i just don't understand how it all got like this, why did he let it get to this point, the stupid git can't even afford the court costs so even tho he has all the papers he can't do it yet. I think deep down he knows what a shit he's being but he is so consumed by anger and hatred that he can't accept it, he said can i have her and i said sort it through your solicitor and he said well i will still come so it looks like i've kept my side of the bargain?!?!? our dd is a bargain (fecking shit wanker shit)

[magsi]

"He said I can have her"



Christ, what is she, a fecking sofa!!

This should do nothing but confirm to you that the right thing is happening here in your getting divorced. Stay angry, it will give you valuable strength!!