OK, deep breath: I feel terrible asking for so much attention and advice from you ladies but there's more to my troubles with the boyfriend who just faked bowel cancer on me, by 'more' I mean that I loaned him money (I know, I know ) and until now I guess I was hoping he would do the honourable thing (haha) and at least contact me to reassure me he would repay it. How naive am I, eh. I've only told one friend in RL about this other aspect as I'm just so ashamed, can't even tell my dad who would know where I stand legally on this (being an ex policeman, as I said) as the money was savings that he originally gave me and he would be so disappointed in me if he knew I'd been just so damned stupid, also of course it was money he worked for and I've given it to some chancer I've known for a few months who did nothing to deserve it except tell me he loved me.
It's £5000. I feel like I've been f*ed for money for months to put it bluntly; ex probably didn't even fancy me. He said he had serious debt problems and was under threat of being evicted and his business going under (before he knew I had any savings) and I offered to help, obviously not wanting the man I loved (and his wee boy) to be homeless/penniless. On two other occasions he circuitously asked for help (once with an IT degree he had fallen behind on payments for, and once more to cover rent). It's a hell of a lot of money I know and I remember seeing him spend crazy money at Christmas on his son, and thinking that it was my money he was spending, but also thinking that this was shaping up to be a long term thing (despite my doubts, we were planning next summer holidays together, all that kind of thing) and kind of saw it as an investment in our mutual future, as well as simply looking after someone I cared deeply about who was in financial dire straits.
Anyway, that's the full story. Does anyone know where I stand legally on this point? Two days ago I thought it would be worth saying goodbye to the 5k and forgetting about it, for the sake of forgetting him quicker too, but I feel so sick about it, and also that I owe it to my son to try and get it back. I don't have much to offer him (no family, don't own our own home etc) and this money would of course have gone to him, one day.
I absolutely know how stupid, stupid, stupid I've been. These were all cash payments and the only evidence of any of them is one text exchange that I've saved (I don't ever save texts but this was some of the last contact between us once I had evidence he was lying about his hospital stay). With the last 'loan' I had told him I'd need it back shortly to cover my own rent, which is due next week . He knows this and I was hoping he'd come through on this one thing at least, but he's not been in touch at all, so that possibility (which was small to begin with) is now at level zero, really.
Is there anything the police could actually do about this if I were to go to them? I'm clutching at straws esp given lack of evidence but would it count as something like, obtaining money under false pretences?
Honestly I haven't slept since this has happened and the money thing is the main reason why. I could get over being cheated on by a liar quite easily I think, if I hadn't paid him to do it. I suppose I'm asking now if there's a police 'person' or a lawyer in the house at all.
God this is such a farce but mentally and physically it feels like it's killing me atm. Thanks again for reading, and for any help you can offer. I'm so ashamed and so grateful.
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Relationships
Furthermore to Tamz77's cancer fake boyfriend: more to the story, and would appreciate legal advice
Tamz77 · 20/01/2008 16:36
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