anyone else dreading Christmas and fear of invasion from lying, violent, abusive in-laws?

[hellobellosback]

Or anyone else for that matter? I am dreading seeing my bloody ghastly brother, who really could not have found anyone worse to marry if he had scraped the barrel of hell. I know it's my problem, but it's bad being a child of a violent abusive parent, and it's tragic to have to see it all happen again with my brother.

Unfortunately we are in a very vulnerable situation at the moment because of my health (breast cancer and colitis diagnosed more-or-less on top of each other), and we are living in my parents' house because of this. My parents' house includes my mad brother.

[SSStollenzeit]

you're living in the house with a violent abusive parent and your bloody ghastly brother. This doesn't sound good.

Get out of the house as much as you can over Christmas?

[goingfrigginchristmascrazy]

Poor you Hbb...thats all you need on top of your illness.
I would agree with sss,just try and get out as often as possible and take lots of deep breaths,sounds a bloody nitemare tbh.

I have a few of those types within our family circle-I don't even visit though as the thought is stomach turning-lucky to have that option I guess.

[Dalrymps]

sounds awful, don't get on with my parents, (emotinally abusive mother who says nasty vicious things to me, my dh and my 2 brothers and their dw's too, and a father who just agrees with everything she says). Our solution to this has been to cut them out of our lives, this has been hard as they just stalk us, turning up at work/home/mil's house, wherever... anyway i've recently moved house and not given them my new address so should get some peace this christmas! Sounds like you've got enough to cope with beibg ill, don't put up with any shit from those loonies!

[hellobellosback]

We were supposed to be in another country... Not facing out nutters

[SSStollenzeit]

under those circumstances another country does sound good but if it isn't feasible right now, I would try and organise/pretend to have a lot of invitations and get out of the house as much as you can.

What's happening with your breast cancer? Have you been operated?

[hellobellosback]

I've had a mastectomy and reconstruction and it's all much better. I saw the consultant yesterday and for now I don't need anything else!

The colitis is worse than the bc in the short term and I don't get on with steroids. It's also an unknown quantity and I have no idea of the prognosis.

I hope we can oganise some expeditions! At the moment I am suffering quite badly with the steroids and we all have nasty colds.

[SSStollenzeit]

No, I can well believe you don't! You have a lot to deal with as it is. What kind of problems are the steroids causing you?

Christmas can be tense under any circumstances but certainly under these. I think if you feel it getting tense, maybe all you can do is wrap up warmly and go for a walk. Hope your dh is helpful and sympathetic. Good luck with it. How old are the dc?

[sparkybabe]

Can you rustle up enough for a travel-lodge over christmas? Thats not something I thought i'd ever say, but it must be better than living in a corrosive atmosphere, and it must be better for you and your health to be out of it.

[hellobellosback]

My brother is supposed to be living with his wife, but lives instead in a shed in her garden or at my parents' house. Whenever he goes to my parents' house he causes a scene.

So, we would be at my parents'house,and hopefully he wouldn't. He is unpredictable, like bad skin.