Oh god, I hate to say/think it, but I reckon DH is at it again...

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

...and I don't know what to do

DH had an affair a few years ago and I knew for a while before I confronted him, but didn't say anything until I had proper evidence.

Now I think he is doing it again. He works away a lot, which I am fine with, it's what he has to do. This week he is off abroad and that was fine, until I called him this afternoon as he had forgotten his booking in details for his car at the airport. It was only when I was speaking to him I realised the flight home was on Weds, instead of Friday like he said (and he is also meeting friends in London on Friday night so will be home on Saturday) I did comment on the fact that it said Weds not Friday but he said it was an old booking and he would be abroad until Friday. The booking was made at 1.30 this afternoon, just an hour before I ahd called him.

I texted him earlier to ask if should be worried about what he will be doing after Weds and he has replied basically saying 'he was refraining from speaking his mind for once'and also 'that he hopes we will have a loving talk about it later' Kinda criptic, but I guess he is saying that he is annoyed that I have even dared to suggest it. Now he does this turning the unreasonable behaviour onto me when he is doing something he shouldn't be...I know him very well.

Now I just feel sick and I don't know waht to do. I forgave him last time (though I can't forget) I don't think I can again

Now I am aware

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

Oops I've got confused with my typing there, meant to say, I am aware that he could be totally innocent, but I've just got this horrible feeling.

[bluejelly]

oh you poor thing
I would be suspicious too, but I guess you have to try not to think about it until he gets home and you can have a proper chat? Alternatively can you ring up the travel company and double check the booking? Say you are his wife who wants to meet him at the airport?

[MascaraOHara]

If you know what flight he is coming back on go to the airport and lurk in the shadows.

If you have a flight number and his name I think they will be able to confirm he is booked on the flight

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

All his travel is done by the ladies at work, so I don't think I could feasible phone and check.

I can't stop thinking about it.

God I promised myself that if he ever did it again, I would get upset, but I can't stop myself

I feel like I must be such an awful person if he wants to do this.

[MascaraOHara]

sorry posts x'd with Blue Jelly.

[choosyfloosy]

Ergh, what a horrible time for you.

I really wouldn't do any checking up, as if they are any good the travel company will either not tell you and/or will inform him that someone is trying to find out when he lands - I would expect a travel company to do that for me.

I have no experience in this so won't say anything else. I hope things work out.

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

It's not the flight number I have, it's the car booking in service number, maybe I could call them, but would they really give me any info?

[MascaraOHara]

No phone the company he is flying through.. give them the flight number and his name state that you are his wife and could they confirm the booking.

[MascaraOHara]

Oh you don't have the flight number. bum. in that case go to the car rental place and lurk in the shadows

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

Thats not gonna be easy with 2 small children. D'you know, I haven't even bothered doing any chescking up/looking through pockets/bags etc for such a long time as I felt if he was he would slip up at some point....and it seems he has

[bluejelly]

Can you call his office and ask one of the secretaries who made his booking?

[MascaraOHara]

Is the car rental place at the airport?

[ladylush]

Your stomach must be in knots What a nightmare. I hope he isn't cheating. I don't know whether the flight company would give you the details but you could go there on wednesday to meet the flight you think he might be on (then follow him)

[Peachy]

Youa re not a horrible eprson, please don't even think that!

EITHER you have been bitten once and therefore have every right to worry (he earned that lack of trust), or he's up to it again- either way you're in no way to blame and you must not think that w\y

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

I suppose I could, but I am feeling thats going too public iyswim. I will call him on Thursday though as the ring tone is different if he is abroad.

[MascaraOHara]

Ok is the following feasible..

Phone the car rental place, have the booking number handy.

(Car rental place often expect you to provide them with your flight numbers)

State the you are the wife of Mr and that you have lost the details of his flights. State the you have the reference number for the car hire and could they please please give you the flight number as you can't find it anywhere and need to check when the flight lands as you have an appointment that day evening and need to be sure he will be back in time.. Sound very upset and dizzy

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

Oh Peachy, you made me cry.. thank you. I know he has made me distrust him, but he seems to think that after 3 yrs I should just forget about it. And to be fair, I don't accuse him of this (I was very paranoid in the early days, but kind of came to an agreement with myself in which I told myslef I was not to keep worrying about it)

Mascara, it's the valet service (I think)at the airport, where he leaves his car with them to park up and look after while he is away.

[Baffy]

so sorry

I really hope it is all innocent but I completely understand when you've been through it, how sickening it is when you just know something isn't right.

I'd be tempted to try and catch him out some way. If he's doing nothing wrong then he has nothing to worry about. And given he has had an affair then you have every right to feel the way you do.

[MascaraOHara]

They would definitely have his flight number then - I've used these before and because they collect you they check your flight

[ladylush]

or do you have a close male friend who could pretend to be your husband (to do the ringing)

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

I only called him as I thought he would need the details as it says 'please bring this form with you'

He sounded like he was making excuses then tbh and now I feel he doth protest too much (he was totally the same the last time)

[CarmenerryChristmas]

Surely the onus is not on you to prove he is cheating but on him to prove he is not. With his history I would go ballastic until I saw proof that he is telling the truth and if there is any gaps in the story I would ditch him.
You are in the right here, he has history, and building your future together means he has to be 100 per cent upfront with you.

[Sorryhavenamechanged]

No, the only close male friends I have are his friends too.

He will try to make out I am being totally unreasonable (another thing he did before) I told him to go last time, but he broke down and I genuinely believed he wasnted to be with me. How stupid was I!!

[ladylush]

I can understand why you want to get proof. I would be the same.

[OhComeLetUsADiorHim]

Sorry - believe me, him having an affair says nothing about you. Look at Baffy - she is gorgeous and a lovely person and her husband let her down. (Sorry to bring you into it Baffy, but you had already posted on this thread).