We have friends visiting from overseas atm and for complicated reasons the long-suffering dw has had to go away, leaving her dh and ds (7) with us.
I will not go into all the reasons that I think her dh is a twat, he just is. But he is one of my dh's oldest friends and I do feel sorry for the child, so I am not going to tell them to get stuffed (as I would dearly like to).
But my dh has started acting like a twat too. Eg. last night their ds spilled his dinner - most of it onto the mat put down under our lo's highchair. My dh told him to pick it up, count of 10. (I was at this point - his mother was already helping him clean up ffs!) Kid did it, but whining, so dh mocked him - I said cut that out, his friend said "no it's okay I mock him all the time", I said, "it's your child", my dh says, "mocking privileges have been granted, I'll do it if I like". By which time I was . Kid was so embarrassed he refused dessert because he "didn't want another accident"!
Later I call him to help me put our lo to bed - he tries to leave so he can play a game with their ds. I say, no, our family comes first - he says "I'm just trying to make up for before." Later still in private I said, would you like your friend making fun of our ds, if he was upset? Well then why do it to their ds? He said he guessed he expected 7yo boys to have their shit together better. I said it was an accident, fgs. He said sorry (to me, but not to the kid). I said, and why are you taking the piss when I tell you you're being too hard on the child? He just shrugged - think he started to realise what he'd sounded like at this point.
But he has also invited them around tonight (without checking with me first) so he can take them out (also without checking with me), which would sort of be fine if I thought he'd given two seconds' thought to dinner for the kid or us for that matter. Does he think I'm going to stay in, put the baby to bed, and have the hoovering done a bow in my hair and a hot meal ready for when they get back?? Would sirs like cocktails first? And will the gentlemen be retiring for brandies afterwards, or can I go to bed?
AND this is while me and ds have both been ill.
All this is on top of a background of the past few months me saying, I am not getting enough of a break with childcare/housework - because dh is studying in the evenings - yet when his friend's around he's sitting in here chatting to them and giving me lip, not helping, so I know I am over-reacting (but only a little ).
I guess what's worst is, I really like my dh, 90% of the time he's helpful and friendly and supportive, and he is working extremely hard atm. But every once in a while, usually when some other bloke is around, he just has a big attack of being a chauvinist shit-for-brains, like he has to show who's boss. Wtf is that all about?
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Need to rant about how dh is regressing under influence of his visiting twattish friend
12 replies
phdlifeneedsanewlife · 20/11/2007 12:55
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