feeling alone and unsupported by family....

[rosebud1980]

im 7.5months pregnant and my husband is in the armed forces and is away until two weeks before the birth. I have a toddler whos really testing me and im just finding it a real struggle physically and emotionally.I feel abandoned by my husband and dont even want to talk to him on the phone anymore. I know its not his fault and he'd love to be at home to help but the fact is he isnt home.To top it off i have family who live close by but today is sunday and im spending the day by myself with my toddler. i sort of had an invite last night from my dad to go for tea but it was dependent on whether my step mum was well and he said hed ring-but i thought why mention it then until youve checked? He said he was cooking dinner but considering he lives 5mins down the road even if she wasnt up for entertaining you'd think hed bring the dinner up to me.

ive not even had any invites for the xmas period im assuming that il be going around to my mums but hasnt been mentioned. My mum is generally good though but even she has her own life. My dad helping me out is having ds even though he has him for his own enjoyment he never really does anything personally for me. Yet with my brother who's years older and is 36 still living with my mum they cant do enough for. my dad even takes him to work-my mums cooks his tea etc. i just feel like because ive got on in life no-body really bothers. Im lonely and im struggling yet no-one sees it-they just assume im ok.

[Scootergrrrl]

Whereabouts are you? Are you on an army patch somewhere?

[Julezboo]

Where in the country are you rosebud?

[Paddlechick666]

hi rosebud

so sorry to hear you're feeling so lonely. it must be hard work with your dh away and a toddler and being pregnant.

i'm spending sunday on my own too with my toddler who's really under the weather - not feeling crash hot myself !!

you're psuedo single-parenting but i expect your family don't really see it that way as your H is in the forces.

my mum has been great to me since my H left but i remember prior to this that i always felt like my siblings got all her attention.

it took a friend of mine to point out that i have always appeared so "together" and "sorted" that my mother didn't realise or feel confident in offering any help i might've needed.

maybe you could talk to your dad and explain how you're feeling and ask him for some extra help?

really hope you're feeling better soon.

[escape]

it sounds to me that your extremely capable, but are tired, very pregnant, and like me a lot of the time, wishing others were as considerate to you as you are to them. Take matters in hand.
People aren't mmind readers - cal your dad, ask hi whats going on and if you don't go to him, kindly ask hi if he'll bring some dinner to you. decide what you want to do for xmas, and ring around and ask. Some people won't even have thought about it. I'd plan in summer, my inlaws won't even think about it till 20th Dec.
a lot of people just don't think.
As for being on your own, i can only sympathise as y DH is constantly abrodad, leacing me with 3 and feeling like a single parent

[rosebud1980]

im on a naval married patch but was always lucky to think i had my family around me.Its only when your feeling down and alone that they arent always there. I think being pregnant doesnt help-i guess sometimes you just want a bit of TLC. I guess when you get married they assume your husband takes over only hes never here to help. my mum did take me out to dinner wednesday whilst ds was at gd.

[bigboydiditandranaway]

I think i'd feel the same as you too.

Could you mention to your dad/mum how you are feeling and say could me & dc pop in over the weekend, i'm sure they'll invite you round more often then.

Or could you ask them over and ask them to bring a starter/main course or pud so you don't have to do too much.

Where would you like to spend xmas?