Domestic abuse - please help me to help my friend

[minorityrules]

A very good friend of mine is going through a very bad time. We haven't been in contact much recently as we both have large famillies and live over hour an apart

I discovered tonight she has kicked her partner out, after he tried to strangle her. I didn't even know she was being abused

I have spent most of the night on the phone with her.

The police won't take it further as it is first she has mentioned it and it is his word against hers.

She doesn't want it to get difficult and wants the world to see her as being reasonable. She is feeling useless, a failure, blaming herself, I have tried to tell her it's ok to feel like this but it isn't true, you can't change a man like this. He is still touching her buttons, being controlling through emails (she is crazy, unreasonable, untrustworthy, can't see the children in case she makes up more lies etc)

I\ve told her to visit a solicitor as soon as possible and to be strong, one minute at a time. She knows she can't take him back but wants him iyswim

As he is making claims that he can't see the children, in case she lies and making sob story about how the kids are his world, I have told her to tell her sil (she has been in contact between them) to tell him he can telephone every other night at 6pm. That way he has some control, but she has the most

She wants hime to see them, anyone know how to set up visits through a third party?

What else can I do to help?? Any other advice? The house is hers, have asked her to change the locks and never let him in, just call the police if he turns up. Would SS help in this situation? With visits for example (i personally wouldn't entertain this but she is adamant she will do the 'right' thing by him

I hate not being there with her and I really need to help her, it was a big thing for her to pick up the phone and fill me in, what can i do???

[Tortington]

if he wants to see the cfhildren - he makes the efort - if he doesn't he doesn't want to really
the house is hers - tell her not to even fall into the trap of feeling guilty - the guilt is all his - if he loves the kids - he will make the effort - if he doesn't and can't be bothered making the effort - then quite frankly fuck him.

she really only should wory about her own safety. she should contact the local community safety officer -s hould be on council website - and ask them for a personal alarm stressing how scared she is.

[queenrollo]

she must be strong.....my friend went through a very similar thing, except i witnessed the abuse on occasions, and picked up the pieces on many others.
my friend is now happily married....and her ex hasn't seen his daughter for years.
she will need lots of emotional support to get through this, but she can and WILL.......
sorry i haven't really offered any advice but just wanted to respond.