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Relationships

finally separated, i'm in another country; what's the legal situation?

1 reply

Zauberfee · 21/08/2007 22:24

crickey, this is going to be along one:
I'm sorry I haven't been around for a long time but now I need some emotional support again.

To give you the low down: me moving to UK to study, falling in love, having a baby after graduation, being at home for a year, then going travelling for some time with ex-db and dd, realising that it's not going to work out with us and that I'm unhappy (refer to my thread history). He wants to stay in Portugal even if it's without me and dd. I'm flying back home to GER and live with my parents. 2months later he comes over to sort things out. Not really spending a lot of intimate time with dd but claims to the BEST FATHER WALkING THiS PLANET. I tell him that I'd like to stay here for a while as I haven't been in my country for 6 years and that I'd like to start working and asking him if he could stay here for me and our family. No. We're having an awful time here and eventually after friends and family make me realise how he is to me, I throw him out. Now he is back in UK to earn dosh to build a house in Portugal. He is putting me under pressure to move back UK eventhough he does not want to stay there and even threatens me with court.
To clarify: i completely understand his situation and that he misses dd, that's why I agreed to come as often as possible to UK (end of Sept and xmas) eventhough we're settling into a new life; dd (19 months) starts nursery and Iam going to start work.
he does not give me any credit. he even suggested to leave her in UK with him for a few months, eventhough he has never looked after her for more than an afternoon;he doesn't agree with routines and would probably let his mum do everything for him. he is a very difficult person, forget speaking to him like a normal person as he will turn any argument I have against me, he is hipocritical, manipulating and will not ever listen to anyones opinion not even his friends or family as he is ALWAYS RIGHT! He things his arse has been kissed by god and therefore he is right and knows nearly everything. To give you an example: everytime I mention child support he calls me a materialistic bitch and that money is probably the reason I wanted to have a child in the first place. He just hasn't got a clue...
Iam really frustrated and upset, not just because I'm going through a break-up, but also dealing with being a single-mum and not being able to sort things out amicably. I guess this happens a lot when couples separate but does anyone know my legal position as I am in Germany? Could he go to court and force me to move to UK eventhough he is not going to be there?

I hope this thread is not too complicated and any advice or just support is very much appreciated.

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bran · 21/08/2007 22:31

I'm not a legal person, but I pretty sure he hasn't a hope in hell of getting custody or of making you move to anywhere. The courts almost always grant custody to the mother (except in Germany where they tend to give custody to the German parent, which is still you), and in your case your dd has never lived with her father which makes his case even weaker. He's just spouting hot air.

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