I have posted similar before but today the whole thing reared it's ugly head again.
When I was with my children's father it was like dating a wall, he wouldn't lift a finger to help, wouldnt arrange for us to go anywhere, wouldn't go anywhere if I arranged it and wouldn't talk. One massive bug bear of mine was that we had a huge garden, it's the back garden and it's completely wild, completely overgrown and a pain in the arse basically...ex DP refused to help me with it, evem sat watching TV one summer whilst I went out, got burnt in the sun and suffered badly with hayfever trying to do it on my own.
My family would always refuse to help saying they didn't see why they should do it when I "have a bloke sitting on his arse" which wound me up further because I was suffering, not him.
Anyway - current DP - I have told current DP about how important the garden is, how I so want it done so that the children have somewhere to play, it could be a lovely garden if it was done nicely but its so wild I don't even know where to start.
I have also told DP of my frustrations that nobody will help me with it and he agreed with me yet didn't offer to help me himself.
Anyway at the start of this sunny weekend I asked him "will you help me do the garden over the weekend?" I had done a bit of it myself the day before but I really needed help with it. DP said he would help.
Saturday came and he "didn't feel like it" but suggested today.
This morning came, I am suffering from the mother of all migraines but I got up anyway at 8am, had breakfast, a cup of tea, watched tv for a bit...still no sign of him. He stayed in bed until 11am.
When he did eventually get up he sat watching TV, I asked him if he fancied giving the garden a go and he said "whatever" blatently not wanting to so I after a while of sitting around doing sod all I took the initiative and went outside to make a start. 10 minutes later, burning skin...I come in to look for him, he was "on toilet" 10 minutes after that he eventually emmerged, watched me for 5 minutes and then picked up the strimmer and made a half arsed attempt at strimming down some weeds that were far too thick for the strimmer = this broke it's wire.
So upon fixing the wire he put it down and said he was too hot and was going to shop but said he wouldn't be long...when he returned 20 minutes later he sat down again doing sod all, I carried on with the garden but came in 20 mins later sweating and burning...I asked DP if he was coming out and I got "in a minute" as a snappy reply.
10 minutes later he came out, asked "whats up" and I snapped and told him I was getting pissed off as I don't seem to be getting anywhere doing it on my own, he took the hint, picked up the strimmer and again broke it, he then went back in and made himself a drink.
20 minutes later I went in and asked him outright if he was going to help me with the garden or not and he said "for gods sake, I'm sick of doing the bloody garden, there is more to life than gardening surely" . I reminded him that I have nobody else to help me and he said "yeah well, hire a gardener". Yeah I'm a single parent on income support...I can REALLY afford to go hiring gardeners.
Anyway he then said he was "ill" and refused to help.
I'm just so bloody annoyed and frustrated, why won't anyone help me? I see my friends DP's coming around to their houses with tools to do DIY for them or to do their gardens, mine sits on his arse moaning all weekend instead, just like my last one.
I actually felt like crying earlier, I'm so sick of nobody giving a shit about me or my kids.
Am I over-reacting and should he be expected to help me in the garden when he doesn't yet live here?
He's been here all weekend and has not washed up or anything once, he just uses plates and then chucks them in the sink for me to wash.
Sorry it's so long.
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Relationships
Feeling Frustrated, am I really expecting too much?
auntysocial · 05/08/2007 19:16
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