In praise of step parents

[lipsty]

Step parents have had a lot of bad press in the past and I'd like to say something positive. My exp and I have both remarried and our ds has two wonderful step parents. They treat him with sensitivity and love and ds feels as if he has four parents all working together in pulling in the same direction. Also, I'm a teacher and recently set some work for the kids to write about their happiest and saddest experiences. One boy wrote: The saddest time for me was when my dad died. We thought we would never cope. The happiest time was when my mum met my step dad as he's amazing and I love him so much.

I just wanted to give step parents a round of applause. It's not easy for them to get the right balance but many of them manage it so brilliantly.

[anorak]

How true, lipsty, I sometimes think their job is harder than being bio parents, because they have to justify everything they say and do.

My dh is a wonderful stepfather to my daughters and puts up with terrible abuse from my troubled DD1. In 7 years together he has never once shirked from parenting them or ever said or done anything any differently from if they were his own flesh and blood. Maybe medals should be issued?

[MeanBean]

Thanks for reminding us all that there are some good news stories for children of previously lone parents, lipsty. I think the key here that you have pointed to is that all four parents are "working together in pulling in the same direction." Only when each side of the family is working together, rather than undermining each other, can you get these really positive cases that you have described. Nice to know it sometimes happens!

[fio2]

my step-dad is lovely

I have been having awful trouble with my bio dad just lately and my stepdad said he was there for me whatever and he loved 'his' grandchildren (my kids) no matter what my dad thought of us.

Its weird because i often have dreams that my stepdad IS my real dad and my mum made a mistake pretty weird dream for a 26 yr old to have!

[susanmt]

Yep, I have 2 fabulous step parents.

My parents split when I was 12, Dad remarried when I was 15 and Mum when I was 19. I stayed with Dad when Mum left with the man she eventually married, and have a fabulous relationship with my Stepmum. And once I had given over being a rebellious sulky teenager with my (now) stepdad I get on great with him as well.

If everyone is prepared to work at it than things are fine!

[Twinkie]

DP is a lovely step parent to DD - the best I cold wish for and I was scared after having such an awful stepmonster.

He makes more of an effort with her than X2b ever did, he has limitless patience and loves to see her achieve silly little things - he loves sitting doing reading and writing with her and always takes the time to explain everything no matter how many times (with me after twice she gets - because it does!!).

He sat in court and told the judge that he was proud and touched that DD started to call him Daddy of her own accord and he feels that he loves her as much as any father could love their natural child. He also said that their was no question of him not getting on with DD as I would not have him as part of our life if not but he said after meeting her he had no qualms about them getting on just fine - she is a lovely, happy, loved little girl who he is very proud of - my barrister fell for him big time!!

He also started a fund for DD and DS for Uni or for a deposit for a house when they get older so I feel so secure knowing that he is planning on being around forever.

I love him and find him all the more attractive for what he does with DD I think and feel so lucky that we have him in our lives. The pleasure I see in both their faces when they are doing stuff together is the nicest thing that I have ever seen I think. - gusg gush gush!! And the pride too when people compliment him on his beautiful, clever daughter!!

Am crying now - pregnancy hormones or what!!