There's so much history in this that I don't know where to start, but I'll try not to write an epic.
The short of it is that my dd - my mother's only grandchild - is almost eight months old, and my mother has been to see her just once. She rings every week, but doesn't even seem that engaged with what's going on (for example is still asking me if she is feeding OK, even though that was a problem only for the first few weeks). It's now almost got to comedy, pretty much the first thing she says now when I answer the phone is her excuse for not coming down, at the moment it's the rain.
Now on one level I can live with this - my father is an adoring grandpa, and even my stepmother is cooing over dd.
But what this makes me realise is that my mother has, in fact, always been crap. Ever since my parents split up when i was seven, I've lived with my father. And there have been all sorts of excuses for my mother - she had bad PND, a nervous breakdown and so on, and I've been excusing her all this time.
But what her treatment of dd has made me realise is that she has in fact never really loved me either, and I've just been making excuses for that. And I'm really really sad and upset, especially as dd is such an adorable child that I can't believe that my mother isn't interested in her.
I don't think there's a punchline, or even anything I can do. I just wanted to get my thoughts out and say how crap this is. Offload over.
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It's really upsetting me that that my mother has no interest at all in dd, her only grandchild
20 replies
vonsudenfed · 06/07/2007 13:03
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