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Is it OK to do 'it' with a baby in the room?

(118 Posts)
kiskidee Sat 31-Mar-07 15:17:10

one morning my friend's 13 yr old boy told her: you two are disgusting! i can't believe you two. etc, etc.

it only dawned on him that night that his parents still had sex.

Madamez - PMSL at your spatula.

I remember walking in on my parents when I was five and my dad yelled at me and I was really scared, because I thought he was hurting my mum and hid in the wardrobe. They didn't find me for hours.

Got a BIG present out of it though

madamez Fri 30-Mar-07 21:30:18

PMSL at tinkerbellHP.. once had a bloke leap off me to throw something at his cats which were ranged along the end of the bed with that classic cat-disdain expression on every furry face.

But, yeh, it's ok to bonk when baby is in the same room. And, BTW, it's worth preparing for the day when a DC of 5 or more walks in on you mid coitus cos he/she had a nightmare/heard a noise. Best advice I have had on this is to tell the DC that Mummy and Daddy (or Parent and Special Friend depending on domestic circumstances) are having a special cuddle that only grownups like.

Which may be a bit difficult if one of you is dressed as a nun and the other is wielding a spatula but then... such things are sitcoms made of.

Chipstick Fri 30-Mar-07 20:41:46

Respect KarmaMother - I can't believe you have a quickie whilst the kids are in the garden!!!

Sex with a baby in the room yes no prob - but once they're mobile it only takes place in the hours of darkness at our house - kids snoring and definitely asleep.

You mean you can *still have sex* once you have a baby. F* me, someone tell my husband!

HoppyDaddy - one of my cats is obsessed by rubber and will seek out erasers and nibble them. One day, my then-boyfriend and I were at it and as he approached me on the bed the cat lunged at his condom covered willy and had a good old fight.

I had to take boyfriend to casualty for a tetanus shot. Was the funniest thing ever. Of course boyfriend dumped me. Some men have no sense of humour .

Homebird8 Fri 30-Mar-07 17:27:50

I think the cry was "Oh God, Yes, Yes YES"

Tutter Fri 30-Mar-07 13:25:59

god, no

Homebird8 Fri 30-Mar-07 13:24:59

We conceived our second child whilst our 15 month old was snoring away in a travel cot at the foot of our bed when we were all visiting relations!

12yeargap Fri 30-Mar-07 09:21:34

OK, so sex with baby in room and also complete bestiary is fine then! glad to hear it

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 14:32:45


Well my post would have been relevant in tbe distant past of this thread...

sweetkitty Thu 29-Mar-07 13:35:27

Apparently I have heard that the cat smothering babies face thing is an urban legend and their has never been a case of a baby being killed by a cat suffocating it. Most cats would rather stay a mile away from a baby.

Hassled Thu 29-Mar-07 13:32:16

DS3 stayed in our room (in a bed) until he was 3 (too many children, house too small) - one night after DP and I had "finished" we realised DS3 had actually got into our bed during the course of things and was fast asleep again. The shame and guilt prompted us to finally sort out sleeping arrangements

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:30:33

Trust me to manage to x-post with doggiesayswoof when the thread has taken a turn like this...

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:28:13

I think it's assumed that dogs don't jump into cots though realise this depends on the size of it.

As for the Tonight programme, no I didn't see. We don't have a dog now anyway (She died of old age rather than from any condom related ailment btw)

Only read OP so hope I'm not abnormal

Yes it's fine, and also with a soundly sleeping 2 yo. Dd is 2 and still in our room.

(please god, not for much longer though...)

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 13:25:33

dogs can lay on peoples faces too

dogs can rip your face off. did you see the tonight programme recently?

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:22:45

Only that the reason you're supposed to keep cats out of a baby's room is that they could smother the child if they lay on their face. Tasteless but was not suggesting anything lewd.

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 13:20:06

willy what do you mean about the cat and the babys face?

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 13:19:08

Being on this thread is demeaning me now!! In the words of the dragons - "I'm out!"

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:18:03

Well now if we're onto dogs eating condoms...when in a shared house, we could tell whose bin our dog had raided by the colour of the condoms she would pass. Two best ones though was the condom that she couldn't quite squeeze through, which I had to extract like a flat balloon from her arse (and which pinged on the way out!) and also the time she did a poo that was inside a condom!!! Perhaps I really ought to go and get my coat now...

LOL did you see the Desperate Housewives (first look) trailer for next week? Lynette was saying "Oh I'm SOOO exhausted.. all I want to do is fall into bed and sleep forever!" (re pizza parlour opening). And Tom said "But what about my sex? " and she said "Oh, you can still have some, but would you mind not waking me up while you have it...?"

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:15:43

Dh doesn't stop when I wake up...

JustUsTwo Thu 29-Mar-07 13:15:38

I remember after a good session with a boyfriend we were both lying there in bed in post-coital bliss when we became aware of a chewing sound coming from the floor at the end of the bed.

Yep - the dog had found the condom. Would've been good and juicy too! Bleugh!!!

Doing it with a young baby asleep in the bed is not "wrong"! If the baby woke up you'd stop anyway wouldn't you!

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 13:14:16

Get your coat willy!

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:13:24

nailpolish - cat babysitters come highly recommended, especially when they keep baby's face so nice and warm Sorry that was possibly too tasteless, even for this thread...

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 13:12:41


willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:12:13

Can I just add that I don't think one should ever do I.T. with a baby in the room. Would bore them senseless

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 13:11:59

also, you can leave the cat to babysit the baby while you nip upstairs for a quick one

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 13:11:51

Cat's are great, really. Just make sure there's plenty of food around if you want a shag. That'll distract em.

Or get something shiny to reflect on the wall.

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 13:11:03

I take responsibility for bringing animals into the bedroom scenario and debasing the thread!!

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 13:11:02

no do get a cat

sunday mornings with the baby and the cat snuggled in beside you are great

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 13:09:36

I did wonder how this conversation route would help the OP, actually.

Don't get a cat, I suppose, they are evil sex life ruiners.

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 13:08:42

My laptop goes down for ten minutes and I return to this pmsl at what I missed, esp the "cat licking dick" debate.

Not sure if we're helping 12yeargap resolve her original quandary or now adding to it

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 13:04:03

ive had both and i prefer cats ANY day

Karmamother Thu 29-Mar-07 13:03:28

HD, yes I have. It's hilarious. Unless you've never owned a cat or dog, of course.

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 13:00:20

lol karma

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 13:00:03

Karmamother, have you seen the "how to give a pill to a cat or dog" joke?

can't remember it all but it's a lengthy plan of various ways to trick a cat to eat a pill. For the dog it simply says "wrap it in bacon".

np, I'm not that kind of cat lover...

sweetkitty Thu 29-Mar-07 12:58:47

One of our cats has jumped on my stomach when DP was (SK thinks of a way of putting this ) down south, talk about offputting.

Doing it with babies in the room fine, cats another story.............

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:58:30

not in that way, no!!!

Karmamother Thu 29-Mar-07 12:58:24

Whilst we're on the subject of cats.... I found this on another thread.

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:57:29

er, yiou would rather your cat licked your knob?????????

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:57:02

i think i need to do something more constructive...

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:57:01

How could a lick be worse than a scratch? It really hurt!!!

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:56:22

at least the cat didnt LICK it HD

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:56:00

hd the cat probably thought it needed a wash

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:55:24

lol karma

i can just imagine a cat doing that

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:55:17

Is it time for an "Is it OK to do 'it' with a cat in the room?" thread?

Once I was crawling naked on the floor, looking for a sock. Cat lay down underneath me, looked all playful and...

...scratched my cock!!! I had to be peeled from the ceiling with a spatula.

Karmamother Thu 29-Mar-07 12:53:15

My cat jumped onto DP's back as were doing the deed. I think he wanted a better view.

sweetkitty Thu 29-Mar-07 12:51:40

me too!!!

Karmamother Thu 29-Mar-07 12:50:51

willywonka, you've just reminded me of a similar situation revolving around 'I'm coming'. The kids were dispatched into the garden for a 10mins play before we were going out to the cinema. DP & I grabbed the chance for a quickie upstairs. His DD was bored & kept shouting up the stairs as she was keen to get going. Just as DP was getting to the best bit, she yelled "Are you coming?" Her timing was impecable.

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:49:27


HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:49:12

That's why I love cats.

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:49:06

kitty thats what i love about cats

kittypants Thu 29-Mar-07 12:48:59

im in a foul mood but this is cheering me up.

sweetkitty Thu 29-Mar-07 12:48:37

Cats have a permanent look of distaste on their faces as if they are disgusted they actually have to share the planet with anyone else.

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:48:17

And then your face...

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 12:47:48

But they seem to think that it's perfectly OK to lick their arse in front of you

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:46:43

Even worse when they just turn away, as if to say "that wasn't worth watching".

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:46:11

cats can be so critical too

and they give you a look of distaste

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 12:45:46

I'm shutting up now as I can't trust myself to speak!!

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:45:01

My cat used to sit and watch. Dirty bugger.

Recently dd shouted to her mum from her bedroom. DW shouted "Coming", looked at me and said "Ooh, I am as well". Cracked me up.

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:44:33

minky htat is a lovely hole you are digging there

sweetkitty Thu 29-Mar-07 12:43:49

pmsl at this thread I remember when DP and I first got together we used to do the deed in my bedroom but I had a cat who always slept on a chair in my room so we used to turn the chair around to face the wall so he couldn't watch us (but you know what cats are like he would have probably scored us out of ten).

My parents had a little lock at the top of their bedroom door now I know why {sick emoticon}

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 12:40:16

This thread is going so wrong in a very good way

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 12:39:11

Oh god, sat at the end of the room btw not on the end of the bed...aagh!!!!!

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 12:38:20

Again...thanks for that mental picture nailpolish!!!!! I did try to once and he wandered in and sat at the end with a quizical cock-eared expression on his face so I had to stop! (I'm referring to the dog by the way!)

FioFio Thu 29-Mar-07 12:37:36

Message deleted

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 12:37:08

Euuuwwww nailpolish

kittypants Thu 29-Mar-07 12:36:59

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:36:21

minky, thats a different matter

the dog may decide to join in...

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 12:35:49

lol minkybiscuit

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 12:34:03

That said, before being a mum I couldn't do it with the dog in the room either and by the same token he had no idea what was going on so perhaps its just me!!

Mumpbump Thu 29-Mar-07 12:30:26

Yes! Perfectly fine!

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 12:28:48

pmsl sweetkitty - have never heard of anyone adopting the position for optimum childcare before.

BTW, I wonder how many MNers have also uttered the immortal line "I'm coming" when older dc call out for you just as you're in the midst of a quickie?!!

nailpolish Thu 29-Mar-07 12:25:16

of course there is nothing wrong with it. its quite difficult to get in the mood to, though, when you can see/hear the baby snuffling in the cot...

i remember exclaiming (when dd2 was about 3 months) "oh look dh! shes sucking her thumb!" what a mood killer that was

also i remember being on top, and dd1 crawled into the room, dh threw me off and i swear i went 6 foot in the air, landing 3 mtrs or so from the bed...

kittypants Thu 29-Mar-07 12:20:46

totally agreee pavlovthecat.

PavlovtheCat Thu 29-Mar-07 12:19:47

yes, absolutely! Sex is the most natural thing in the world. Your Lo would not be here if you did not do it! Once LO gets older and starts noticing/asking questions (!) then be more discrete, but a young baby does not know, does not care, unless you disturb your LO!

I think it is more likely to create hang-ups/tension/issues if you feel it is something to be embarrassed about/hide/not do if your baby is around, and means that with such a young LO, you both may get sexually frustrated. That said it took us 8 weeks before I was ready to do it, and we woke her up! (she yelled, like saying be quiet will you!)

BTW - my BIL still has daughter in their bedroom, his wife just had another baby, so they must have been too, and DD is 4! She has not issues/hangups/weird behaviours as a result

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:17:51

sweetkitty pmsl at your considerate friend.

sweetkitty Thu 29-Mar-07 12:15:21

Have done in the past when they were asleep but maybe about twice as it was very offputting, you can't really nejoy yourself.

DD1 coslept until 15 months so we used to go into the spare room and use the futon, in fact DD2 was made there , DD2 coslept until 12 months too so we used to grab a duvet and go downstairs.

I don't think theres anything wrong with it presonally, I do have one friend who used to do it when her son was crawling around in the same room, I know he wouldn't have a clue but yuck and she used to say she always did it doggy style so she could keep an eye on him at the same time

willywonkasEgghunt Thu 29-Mar-07 12:10:22

It's perfectly normal and whilst I think most of us would prefer to have the room to ourselves, if it's the difference between a jolly good shag or not, then go for it. Even if your baby can see across the room to your bed, s/he won't have a clue about what you're doing. You can always hang a blanket over the edge of the cot for the duration, if it makes you feel better. Have a good time

mears Thu 29-Mar-07 12:06:16

It is totally normal to have sex with a sleeping baby in the room. Since the guidance is to keep your baby in your room for at least 6 months, parents would be hard pushed not to have sex in bed for that length of time, unless you want the excitement of alternate places but could you be bothered with a newborn?

Hulababy Thu 29-Mar-07 12:02:35

Well DD is almost 5yo and I wouldn't now.

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 12:02:07

Yes I am suggesting you (or rather I) shouldn't have sex with a person in the room. What others do is personal choice. What age would they be before you stopped having sex in the room with them out of interest?

nappyaddict Thu 29-Mar-07 11:54:29

but when is it not ok to do it with the kids in your room? i went on holiday with my parents when i was 10, sister was 15. we stayed in a family room. i definitely would not have wanted to wake up to that!

kittypants Thu 29-Mar-07 10:45:16

i find it funny that people find it so wrong/shocking.its nature-what made your little one!

Hulababy Thu 29-Mar-07 10:34:33

If asleep I can't see any problems with it. And explore the rest of your house as well if you find it a bit uncomfortable with the LO so close by.

Oblomov Thu 29-Mar-07 10:33:35

Yes, yes , yes it is totally natural.

Also ......

We went to Florida when ds was 2.

He was in a cotbed in the same room as us.

What difference does it make if is a baby in the room, fast asleep, or a two year old ?

Are you suggesting that a loving couple, should not have sex, whilst on the most fantastic 2 week holiday in Florida ?

No. Surely not.

HoppyDaddy Thu 29-Mar-07 10:27:08

I used to say no no no! As the opportunity doesn't arise that often, with dd ever present, we tend to take our chances when they come!

Can't fully relax, though.

foxybrown Thu 29-Mar-07 10:09:30

euwwww minky biscuit! That changes everything! No, its wrong, definately!!!!

minkybiscuit Thu 29-Mar-07 09:55:27

I personally couldnt do it with anyone else in the room even if that person is a sleeping baby. No way. I would just imagine my mum and dad doing it with me present! (Why?? Did I have to give myself that mental picture?? Anyone got the number of a good therapist???? )

KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg Thu 29-Mar-07 09:54:21

yea course it is,

hes 6 weeks old - wont have a clue

Nemo2007 Thu 29-Mar-07 09:53:51

Think it is personal choice..I couldnt do it in the same room as any of the DC. We tend to put kids to bed and maybe leave baby asleep downstairs to grab a opportunity.

foxybrown Thu 29-Mar-07 09:50:43

yep, its fine go for it. Obviously not with one in the bed - they tend to bounce off and wake up.

zippitippitoes Thu 29-Mar-07 09:47:45

lol at worrying about whether the baby is asleep and "not watching"

FrannyandZooey Thu 29-Mar-07 09:44:24

It's fine, of course, enjoy

Anna8888 Thu 29-Mar-07 09:42:06

Yes, it's fine, as long as the baby is asleep and not watching.

Parents have slept with their babies in their rooms and beds for millenia, and still do in lots of cultures. It's fine to make love with the baby in the room. Don't let any Freudian or post-Freudian convince you of the contrary.

Egypt Thu 29-Mar-07 09:11:29

if they're just a tiny baby then there's no problem. i agree its offputting with them in the room, and i don't much enjoy it....but when you think about it, when they're did it with them in the womb why not in the room!!! there's something to think about.....

mylittlestar Thu 29-Mar-07 08:58:40

Don't see anything wrong with it at all if they're asleep

We do if DS2 is asleep! Otherwise we would never do it!!!

Go for it and have fun!

SSShakeTheChi Thu 29-Mar-07 08:50:07

can't see anything wrong with it

Diplidophus Thu 29-Mar-07 08:43:21

We do (only if sleeping) but it is easier to relax and enjoy when child is not in the room.

Anniegetyourgun Thu 29-Mar-07 08:29:53

I tended to be a rather anxious parent when they were small and would rather have the baby in the room where I'd hear if it needed me. Relax? What's that?

noddyholder Thu 29-Mar-07 08:27:45

Definitely fine otherwise you would probably never have sex!

Yes! And yes we did at 6 weeks

I'm with Fillyjonk, I don't think I could relax in this situation, so wouldn't have sex. There's nothing wrong with doing it though, if you're fine with it.

GibbonInARibbon Thu 29-Mar-07 07:39:11

not for me <<shudders>>

I'd rather shag on stairs, in another room or in the garden against the fence than have sex with my LO in the room but that's just me.

berolina Thu 29-Mar-07 07:13:03

yes, if they're reliably asleep. We have a one-bedroom flat so not sure how we would have conceived dc2 if we'd not done it with ds asleep in the room...
More to the point - 6 weeks Respect!

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit Thu 29-Mar-07 06:46:39

personally no

i accept i am in a minority though

i don't think I could relax really

kiskidee Thu 29-Mar-07 06:14:18

yes. and anywhere else in the house if you are too shy

anneme Thu 29-Mar-07 02:59:45

No problem - and anyway at 6 weeks the baby is not really going to notice if you swing from the rafters (but we'll all be v impressed by your energy at this stage!). DS was in our room for 5 months and we did it with him there (not in our bed though) - although I will admit that when he was a bit older i would have been rather disconcerted to find out that he was awake.

nappyaddict Thu 29-Mar-07 02:08:59

i know someone who does it with the baby asleep in thier bed so i'd say fine go for it!

mickeyrouke Thu 29-Mar-07 00:55:51

yes, we did/do it but only when baby soundly asleep. Perfectly normal imo, as long as baby not awake and watching!! We usually do it in the room next door nowadays,though, far more relaxed.

I think in the past this used to be much more common, see Angela's Ashes! How else could they all sleep in the same room and yet add to their huge families?

KerryMum Thu 29-Mar-07 00:53:49

I'd say as long as the baby is asleep (and you don't wake her up) and NOT in the bed with you then it it's fine.

Chattea Thu 29-Mar-07 00:53:34

It's completely and utterly normal. Go for it!

LedodgyCheapEasterEggsAreASin Thu 29-Mar-07 00:51:27

omg if you're up to doing it with a six week old for god sake go ahead!

12yeargap Thu 29-Mar-07 00:49:48

Seriously - do/should you have sex - quietly and discreetly - with a (small, sleeping) baby in the room in a cot or moses basket? I honestly don't know if this is completely normal, or utterly-depraved-call-social-services behaviour. But it's nearly six weeks soon since baby was born, so I'd sort of like an opinion on this before the situation arises...thanks.

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