In tears and need some support. Don't think am ready to confide in someone in real life though probably need to. Have a beautiful 4 week old. Dh tells me last night he is miserable and thinks maybe we should split up. I don't want this, i still love him but with two dc and being a SAHM I think I need to make plans just in case. I suggested counselling but he said we can't afford it which is true and even if we could get on nhs we cant afford childcare - no relatives nearby. Its not a surprise, he often acts like he hates me and then complains when i dont seek out his company. The way he treats me is not how I'd like DD treated in a marriage and I miss someone being kind. I really would like to work on things but I' m not getting much sleep because 0f the baby and postpartum health issues and I just don't know if I have the energy. While pregnant I organised childcare for dc1 and we spent a few nights away - it was lovely and we got on well, but reality isnt working out. I have health issues which affect our sex life but I want to work on this but he just seems not to be interested in talking about it or compromising - to me it seems he wants things the way they were when first married or not at all. He's a bit like this with the dc too - dc1 is a bad sleeper and he gets so angry when dc needs help in the night and blames me for poor sleeping patterns (i think its just personality). Just dont know what to do or where to start - havebeen SAHM for 4 years. Moved for his job 4 years ago and 2 years ago and his job is pretty good now. I was applying for jobs for over 9 months (unsuccessfully - found had to apply for jobs way below my last salary to get to interview stage after the career break) before fell pregnant (unexpectedly) so have no financial support of own at all - he earns above 40k so dont qualify for child benefits. Just feel so defeated and alone. Hes a good man and a good dad but he does struggle with the day to day - he is unfit and we are both tired all the time, he spends a lot of time surfing the internet on the weekend. I dont want us all to be unhappy and we snipe at each other and its a terrible example for dc1. I just can't face the enormity of this but if hes not willing to try, or doesnt want to what can i do? I think maybe he just wants more attention from me and i do try every so aften but am so tired - did say last night that could give him more time if he helped more with chores, but think he is too tired as well. What a mess, Im so miserable.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Newborn baby and husband says thinking of leaving
Namechange987654321 · 23/01/2017 12:31
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