DH didn't shower before meeting my work mates

[Bumbleclat]

It was embarrassing.
I went on maternity leave last week and brought my DH to see my class (I'm a teacher) in their amazingly good school production. It had been a mild day and he had got straight in from work and come with me to school.
He smelled really strongly of BO and I was mortified when introducing him to people.
I told him afterwards Abd he apologised but it does piss me off a bit having to be in the awkward position of saying you smell rather than him taking responsibility.

It's somehow really got me down, he doesn't brush his teeth every day, doesn't get his hair tidied up when it starts to go untidy, doesn't iron his work shirts or wash his work trousers. Reminding him to wear deodorant makes me feel like his mother and I don't want that kind of dynamic in our relationship but I also felt really embarrassed sat in the audience with this stinky man.

How do I broach it with him without hurting him too much?

TIA

[knaffedoff]

Sorry but I would be blunt, he doesn't seem to care if his smells offend others, wasn't caring enough to present himself well to your friends, colleagues and class. Stuff his feelings, he is an adult and it's not acceptable because it seems his failings are not just about hygiene but laziness.

What's he like chipping in with housework? Do you have other children? And does he share the parenting with you?

[Thisjustinno]

I hope he showered and brushed his teeth the day you conceived your baby!

[Bumbleclat]

He isn't lazy around the house although he used to be, he's now really great. He doesn't smell often either, it was just really pronounced because it was so bloody hot in the the school hall all crammed in like sardines!
I just feel embarrassed for him/ by him on this occasion.

[pallasathena]

This is his problem and his problem to solve. But if its just a one off, then basically, I'd just get over it.People forget these minor misdemeanours in a few weeks.
If it isn't, then all you can do is assert your rights not to be intimate with someone who stinks and has hygiene issues.
And tell him.
As you say, you are not his mother but just maybe, as a teacher, he's looking to be 'told what to do'?

[MrsBertBibby]

Is it possible you were overly aware of his smell? Pregnancy can seriously sharpen your sense of smell.

[HalfShellHero]

Pregnancy makes your nose much keener DH used to stink to me when i was pregnant..

[April2013]

I think this is a late pregnancy thing too, sounds like if he has improved massively on housework front you could ask him to wear deodorant and definitely brush his teeth and wash his clothes as they are important from a hygiene perspective and he will respond well, especially as you are about to have a newborn, but I guess ironing and hair tidying is really up to him but you could maybe tackle those later. Maybe you need some non iron shirts and he needs a lower maintenance hair style?