How can I stop seeing my (abusive) mother in my dd?

[Hoeski]

I never bonded properly with my first child. I tried. I begged help from every health visitor I saw but no-one was forthcoming. They all saw a well fed/cared for infant and left it at that saying 'It'll come'. Well it didn't. We have a bond of sorts now (21yrs later) but not the deep intuitive attachment that I wanted. From day one I never 'recognised' her scent. I still don't. I've been in therapy for nearly a year now to try to improve our relationship and through this process, I realise I see a reflection of my own dm in my dd. Let me say it's nothing you can put your finger on. They look/behave entirely different but something in my dd makes me repel, I see my dm in her. My dm walked out on me & my siblings when I was 5 leaving us with an abusive paedophile father. I don't think my dm bonded properly with me and now I'm in the same situation. It's taken me these 21yrs of soul-searching to work out what went wrong with my own dd. Now I can see what is wrong but I don't know how to fix it. It's not enough to tell myself my dd is not my mother. I haven't had contact with my parents in decades. Do you have any ideas?