Hi,
I posted here about 8 months ago, describing a relationship I was in (on/off) with someone for 4 years who was extremely intense, then vanished , repeat.
The advice I received on this board was sage. It helped me to make a decision to leave. I still feel it's the right decision because relationship was highly unsettling, despite being bizarrely the best relationship in many other ways. If he hadn't been so elusive and non committal, it would have been perfect.
Anyway, despite seeing him only once or twice this entire year - I can't stop thinking about him. It's a case of digression - there's no progress whatsoever. Each day feels harder than the previous.
I open my eyes in bed every morning, he's there in my mind. I tell myself I'm going to push him out of my mind and do a little prayer for help. To no avail.
No matter what I'm doing, thoughts of him are spinning around my head. I realise that this is different from the past, in my 20s I would have moved on to the next relationship. However I can't do that now. I'm so broken. My marriage ended several years ago - due to ex being a serial adulterer. I thought this guy was a blessing but so wrong.
I found myself making the most appalling excuse to meet him briefly recently, which we did, and I could see he had moved on. He looked so well groomed, new clothes, slipped up and called me by another woman's name...Couldn't have been more obvious that he's in a new relationship. He made no attempts to stay in touch, other than a package he sent to me on my birthday in the summer, stating he thought about me and my children every day, and that if I ever needed to talk to him, he'd be there - "whether it's today, tomorrow, or in 10 years time"
Over the four years, i wrote countless emails to myself urging myself to leave him. I have been in therapy since January, with Mind. It's a good opportunity to offload but I don't feel any more settled, secure, happier.
The main thing is that I still can't stop obsessing about him. It stops me from doing the things I love - reading, etc.
Does anyone have any tips /advice for me? Time doesn't seem to be much of a healer right now.
Thank you
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Relationships
How to move on - mentally
18 replies
stirling · 04/12/2016 11:58
OP posts:
Anonymoususer1938 ·
04/12/2016 21:26
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Anonymoususer1938 ·
04/12/2016 22:05
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