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tired of the competition *rant alert*

(8 Posts)
desperatehousewife999 Mon 28-Nov-16 20:51:03

if I've had a busy day...... he's had a busier one
if i'm tired....... he's more tired
if I've had 5hrs sleep..... he's had 4
if I've been up twice in the night with the baby...... he's been up 3 times
if I've done some housework........ he has always done 'more'
if I've done x,y and z, he has done a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z...

i'm fed up of it. its been this way for 6 years. i cant take it anymore. Need to vent. AARRRGGHH!!!!

just to add i have decided i want to LTB. i cant live this life anymore, i'm not happy, but i just don't think now is the right time and am trying to hold out for a few months. Just get Christmas over with.

...... and breath.........

Pestilence13610 Mon 28-Nov-16 20:57:25

YANBU Relationships are not a competition or game. They are a rather somber pact, where you agree to try and get through everything together.
Have a good rant and think, act with informed knowledge not haste.

IsNotGold Mon 28-Nov-16 21:49:13

Is it not worth talking to him about?

You're right, it shouldn't be a competition.
Have you tried being postive yourself and sympathetic towards him.

Maybe you should both stop moaning.

desperatehousewife999 Mon 28-Nov-16 22:11:09

I've tried talking to him previously. It's always a case of him having done one better (or worse) then me. Every time. Sometimes I've got so frustrated it's escalated into an arguement and without fail it will all end up being my fault and all woe is him.
I get that he does work hard, he is busy, he does do a bit, but so do I! And just once it would be nice to have a bit of acknowledgement about that. I don't want a competition all the time, or ever. Just be ice to come home from work and talk about my busy day (not even moaning, just talking) without it always been "well mines been busier"
As I said in my op I've already made the decision that we can't continue like this. We are not compatible and we are not happy (I'm sure he has as many complaints about me as I do about him. I'm not perfect by any means) but I don't think 3/4 weeks before Christmas is the best time to end it (is there ever a good time?) so just coming onto here to have a rant to let off steam.

LesisMiserable Mon 28-Nov-16 22:29:13

No it's not a competition and I think once competing has become a habit instead of supporting each other it really is all over unless you both make a decision to pull it back and that involves unearthing what the underlying issues are which couples rarely want to do because we want to believe true love and commitment is not effort it is just naturally occurring perfection don't we.

TheNaze73 Mon 28-Nov-16 22:53:15

You're doing the right thing. He sounds like a right cock

whatminniedidnext Mon 28-Nov-16 23:05:05

That doesn't sound healthy to me. My ex used to be like that, (although he was also emotionally abusive too), but even what you describe sounds wrong. He seems very selfish and unsupportive. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? I guess the fact you say it has been like this for 6 years probably answers my questionconfused

Stinkingbagwash Mon 28-Nov-16 23:33:48

Mine was like this too. Sadly in the end I had to leave him.

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