DH seems to refuse to ever accept responsibility for anything. Even when he has obviously screwed up he will always try to blame someone, or something else. He seems unable to say 'I'm sorry, I made a mistake/ I was wrong" and then move on.
For a while I just let it go, but now I'm concerned about the example he sets for our sons and I've started calling him out on it more when it happens.
Here's the latest example. We were out with some friends at the weekend and DH was asked if he was free to see a (blokes) movie on Weds. He says no, as he's going to a live event with DS that evening. My ears prick up and I ask 'what event?' as it's the first I've heard about it.
The way we run our family calendar is that we send 'meeting/event calendar requests' to each other, and to whichever teen is involved. Then everyone has the info to hand on their phone and we can plan meals, lifts etc accordingly.
Anyway, I knew I hadn't seen anything and didn't have a calendar event, so said this, but DH kept saying 'Well I definitely sent it. Not my fault if you haven't put it in your calendar' and similar comments in front of our friends.
I'm wasn't going to argue in public, so didn't say much more, other than 'let's check later'.
Sure enough, when I check, it's not in my diary, so I just sent him an email saying it's not in my calendar, can you resend it.
Here's his response:
"I’ve sent it to you – looking at the PC rather than my phone it looks like you were missed off the original. I booked this months and months ago and [DS] definitely has it in his diary."
When I read this, I just see the following:
looking at the PC rather than my phone - 'it's the phone's fault for not displaying it all correctly'
it looks like you were missed off the original - something happened remotely which is not linked to the fact that I failed to add your name/email
I booked this months and months ago - therefore you should know about it by now. It's not my fault you're not telepathic.
[DS] definitely has it in his diary - therefore he should probably have told you. I managed to tell one person - do I get a gold star?!
I feel like replying
Did you actually mean to say “I’m sorry, my mistake, it looks as if I did miss you off, although I swore blind, in front of our friends, that it was you who was at fault here”
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Relationships
Don't like the way DH communicates with me - how to change?
WonderWine · 28/11/2016 11:23
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