I know from what I will say I will most likely get alot of abuse and to be honest I deserve it. I just need to get it all out in the hope it helps me release what a mess I've made my life. I'm married 3 years and have twin boys 18 months. Having the boys was the best thing that happened to me but at the same time I'm not going to lie its been a struggle, my husband runs his own business so he's working alot.... Out at 5am home at 7-8pm. Many times I've felt like a single mum and alone. Don't get me wrong if I really needed him home he would come and work from home.
I guess him working so much made me feel lonely. Before the boys came along me and a colleague who is also married got rather flirtie, nothing in it just abit of banter and this was the attention I craved... I loved it but I really should have been the red flags. We kissed several times we got very close and messaged each other on a daily bases. We did eventually put a stop to it so we could work on our life's at home and a few months later I became pregnant. (yes not the best planning but things don't always happen by the book) Things at home got better, the hubby came home earlier, we went out. Maybe I shouldn't have but I kept in touch with the colleague I kissed because we got on so well. While on maternity we chatted like friends he even came and met the boys it was just like we were good friends... I went back to work after a year off. It was hard but the money I was on was silly not it, and I was exhausted at home keeping the boys busy all the time. The hubby's work pattern got worse I felt like a single mother again doing everything , and I'm not Blaming him for working hard for me to get the wondering eye but one night out with work I kissed this same colleague again, all these feeling came back, he even said he loved me. We have heated texts and it's gotten out of control. I feel like I'm addicted to his attention, I need to feel wanted, once I was a strong minded independent women now I feel my life crumbling and the I know thing keeping me up are my beautiful boys. I really do ove my husband and I want it to work. I know I need to stop with my colleague we are playing with fire!!! Last week what made this worse I had a different colleague from a different department Confress his feelings for me.... He kissed me but I stopped that... I was so drunk but I blame myself for the position I put us in. I asked him back for a drink In my head this was being friendly... But he took this another way. Not that I can blame the drink. My actions are my choice but I'm just heading down a road i don't want to.
I'm a mess, my life is a mess and I'm messing with other life's /families.
Could I leave my job? I've been there 10 years and I do love my job... I just need someone to put my head straight. I feel so ill from all this worry.
I've told no one not even my best friends because I cannot bare to see there disappointed faces.... Me.. Who in there eyes has the perfect life and perfect family.
Arghhhh 0
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My life is a mess...
12 replies
Jessmore1989 · 28/11/2016 09:02
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