I'm pretty sure DH is one of these, but I really don't think he means to be. I think he just thinks his behaviour is his personality.
What I mean is I don't think he intentionally sets out to be abusive or damaging, but I think in his personality he sees things as a game and he has to win at all costs. Therefore he tries to manipulate to get what he wants and if he doesn't he gets petty / mean. I don't even think it occurs to him teh damage he is causing, just that he 'wins'.
As an example we shopped together and agreed meals this week. Today was going the be shepherds pie, but for (very sensible and explained) logistical reasons I wanted to swap today and tomorrow so we have fish today. Both are in date for a couple more days. He is refusing to budge insisting we have shepherds pie today - he has no reason, he is just being an arse. It's such a pointless petty thing I know (there is a bit more to it than this but I will out myself if I go into it).
I'm pretty sure I need to leave him (not over tonights dinner, but many many other things) but I've always believed in fighting for my marriage and we have many ups as well as downs. I'm just hoping there is some personality trait where this 'game playing' can be cured, as when he is not being an arse he's quite a nice guy.
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Relationships
Narc/EAs: do they know what they are doing?
TheNewWoman · 23/11/2016 09:17
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