Married for 14 years, 2DC, aged 12 and 8. After 2 years of counselling on and off, H will not go any more. I felt vindicated through counselling and I think he felt attacked. He is not abusive (although passive aggressive), and is a good dad. I do not love him any more and I doubt that he loves me.
Without going into all the details the issue is that he thinks we should stay together until our youngest has left home, stating “I’m not leaving and neither are the kids”. I think that we should split up, however we are not in a financial position to do so. We are struggling every month with finances. We are not modelling a good relationship for our children, having said that they are loved very much by us, although I’m sure they are being affected by the lovelessness between h and me.
I feel completely helpless and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sad most of the time and often tearful. My frustrations with the usual kid stuff is amplified and it feels like H is just sitting there while I get get wound up, then swoops in being the calm and collected parent, making me look like a lunatic. That may be just how I see it, but I’m scared that he is “giving me enough rope to hang myself” figuratively speaking. I have a tendency to have a few drinks, to blot out the emptiness and sadness, but just about managing to keep a handle on that. He does not really drink. It’s always been an issue between us. I can’t live in this void for another 10 years.
Not sure what I'm asking for - maybe just a handhold, or some backbone
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Relationships
H wants to stay together "for the kids"
nettlefettle · 21/11/2016 13:34
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