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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Support thread PTSD Relationships

3 replies

Holly90 · 20/11/2016 20:57

I have started this thread with the hope of speaking to other carers who love someone who suffers with PTSD.
Met my DP in April. He was open and honest with me from the word go, explained he has PTSD and also insecurities. "Ok, no worries" I thought... Oh dear it took me by a MASSIVE surprise how little knowledge I had about PTSD and how I naively misunderstood the illness. Our relationship suffers IMMENSELY by his insecurities and his PTSD. I'm a very loving, understanding, patient type of person which can help through the battle. We both love each other very very much, we are open and honest with each other and can, not always but can communicate very well (my verbal communication techniques have slightly rubbed off to him). The further we have come into the relationship the more I can see the psychological damage to DP poor little brain. I personally think he also suffers with Child Abuse related PTSD as well as his diagnosed Combat PTSD.

I'd love to speak to other people who are in a relationship with a PTSD sufferer. It's nice to give/gain support via other people's stories 😊

OP posts:
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Rockluvvindad · 20/11/2016 22:11

Holly, if your partner hasn't already, he should contact Combat Stress. They were an absolutely lifeline to me when I hit my lowest point...

Also, if you have access to healthcare or can afford it, try to find a therapist who does EMDR ( look it up on the internet for more info, but it is an incredibly efficacious treatment for PTSD and was recommended by CS to me. Was a silver bullet and actually "cured" me over a course of about 10 sessions... )

Watch out for triggers... Noise was a key one for me. He will be have high levels of adrenaline so sudden shocks will send it sky high with a physical reaction ( anger, fear, fight or flight type stuff ).

Be prepared for the fact he might not be able to talk to you about it. It took me 15 years to realise I had a problem, and another 5 before I got treatment... I couldn't tell my ex-DW until almost the very end...

Good luck, and if you want more info send me a PM... The more you understand about it, the les overwhelming it will seem, even though the path to living with it might be a long one...

RLD

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3011152gt · 11/09/2017 12:57

oh I am glad I found this thread and hope i'm not too late, my DF suffers CPTSD and other issues and is currently in hospital because of a flare up. its been a tough 2 years but we love each other dearly too and plan to marry soon although his health needs to get under control.
I'd love some advice, tips etc on how you cope

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StaplesCorner · 11/09/2017 14:06

I also recommend EMDR I had it on the NHS in this area, obviously not offered free everywhere, but do make enquiries, I feel it literally saved my life.

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