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Don't know where to go or do

(7 Posts)
julesbee10 Sun 20-Nov-16 15:27:33

Hi there looking for some advice, I moved away from family etc 7 years ago after meeting someone, a bit of a whirlwind actually, moved other end of the country, packing up my house etc , moved and married he cheated a number occasions I forgave etc, had and lost a child, we have another child now, and he constantly cheat and emotional abuse, mind games etc, I want to leave but firstly I hate the thought of take my child away from his dad, he is close to daddy, also we are in rented property and haven't a clue if I move back up country where I will go, my family haven't the space etc, and I would be leaving my job and pains me to move my son away from his dad. I am at my wits end and very unhappy indeed, I feel so alone, sad, unwanted, unloved and he spends a lot of time with his love Childs mother but can't spend hardly anytime with me his wife and child. Don't know what to do...

Hermonie2016 Sun 20-Nov-16 15:41:39

So once you realise the relationship isn't fixable (and it sounds it) you will find ways to move forward.

For each scenario there will be pros & cons, and if you start to think about each of these by researching you will move towards a conclusion.

Take some time, start a list and evaluate what is possible if you stay locally.Then do the same for if you move away.
You don't need to rush a decision, the first step is to acknowledge you are leaving and then your mind will help you priortise what's important.

Hermonie2016 Sun 20-Nov-16 15:42:34

Do you have local support?

julesbee10 Sun 20-Nov-16 18:01:27

Hi dear no I don't I only have my job and child really whereas my family are all up country. I am missing out on so much. I am so alone here. But don't really want to leave my belongings but have no where to store. He is going on holiday by himself in a week for 3 weeks and me and his son barely seen him. I said to spend some time with us before "I know sounds needy and shouldn't have to remind someone if they care" but I message earlier he at his friends! Back later.

category12 Sun 20-Nov-16 18:09:40

Sounds like your best option is to move back home. Can family/friends help you find somewhere to move to? Could they put you up temporarily while you find something, even if it's a bit cramped?

Jobswise, are you with a company that has branches upcountry that you could possibly get a transfer? What's the job market like back home? I would start applying for jobs back there.

MortonHarketsCheekBones Sun 20-Nov-16 18:22:02

I'm in a similar situation OP. And it's shit. Even though I've got a flat to go to in a couple of weeks I'm devastated that I've got to uproot my DS again. I can only suggest that you start making plans to leave him.

anxiousnow Sun 20-Nov-16 18:29:59

OP, firstly I am sincerely sorry on the loss of your first child. I know you don't like to take your child from his/her Dad but being emotionally abusive to you is not being a good Dad. It is teaching your child the wrong to treat people. Do your family know that he is abusive? You need real life support even if it means being cramped up for a while. You need to work on your self esteem and need support around you to do so. I am sorry you are in this situation.

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