I have bipolar and some other MH issues. I was in hospital this week.
When I got home I received a long text from my sister saying that she doesn't think Dh does enough to support me and that they want to take over my care. She said they (her and my mother) think he needs to push for more help for me and also take better care of me sonindint end up in hospital again (I've had six admissions in the last two years).
She also complained that he doesn't update them regularly enough and they feel pushed out.
Dh works full time in a stressful and senior role. He comes home and does the bulk of the childcare and housework. I can no longer drive so he does all the ferrying around if our three DC. He often leaves work at the drop of a hat when I'm ill, and has time off to take over with the kids when I'm in hospital. He treats me like an absolute princess, checks in with me constantly to gauge my mood, deals with the fallout from my illness (we have serious debt for eg and he works from home every evening and weekend for overtime).
In ten years, and despite my often appalling behaviour, he has never even raised his voice to me. He is honestly an absolute superhero.
His parents are a huge help, they take the kids to school when needed and his mum cleans for me when I can't.
My family have never visited me in hospital. They rarely come round and only phone occasionally. Whine I'm ill, Dh juggles looking after the kids, working when he can and letting people know what's going on. They feel that he doesn't keep them updated enough. They never phone him to find out what's going on or offer any practical help, but feel that he isn't pro active enough in keeping them in the loop.
My sister said that if he was more in the ball I could have avoided hospital this week. In fact, if he was any less on the ball I'd be in hospital far more often.
I don't know why they have such a low opinion of him and it hurts. He is absolutely gutted that they feel this way and is talking about going nc with them.
I don't know how to proceed. I'm deeply offended by the text, I have replied basically saying what I've said here and she replied to that saying she just wanted to be sure he is good enough for me. Tbh that has just compounded the offence I've taken. I don't feel that they need or deserve to be updated with the minutiae of my illness, I am an adult and taking control of my illness with the support of my Dh.
How would you deal with this? I don't want to go nc necessarily but I am furious on DH's behalf.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My family are blaming Dh for my illness.
GrabtharsHammer · 18/11/2016 08:12
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