Hi,
Sorry if this goes on a bit.
I've been reading so much over the last few months about losing respect for your husband and ways to try and rebuild our relationship.
We have a 20 month old boy, he wasn't planed and i had an affair (don't worry wasn't his) we were getting marriage counselling and about 3 months in thats when i found out i was pregnant.
I know your thinking what a bitch cheating on her husband and yes i was. Honestly it was a cry for help, but that is not the way to go about it.
Being pregnant and going through counselling felt odd for us both, we were trying to rebuild our marraige and thought it wasn't ideal timing, but it is what it is and i've got a boy that i love more than anything in the world.
Our marriage and relationship has never been great and really i think we were to young when we got married (25) now 32.
He doesn't want to work and never has really worked, lives off his family's money and sits around all day on his laptop doing nothing.
He said when i was pregnant he's going to change and be a father his son could look up to but nothing has changed. And when i have in the past mentioned this to him of what he's said he then brings up the affair and i end up spending the whole day trying to make him happy again, or we just don't talk for the day so i just don't say anything any more because its tiring.
I work as much as i can, clean the house, cook, do the laundry and when i ask him to give me a hand he gets in a strop.
It's honestly like living with a teenager and has always been this way, before the affair so that's not what it is.
I have no respect for him, he's only helpful when he wants sex and honestly when he tries anything it makes my skin crawl and i always come up with a excuses why i can't have sex.
I know it sounds bad, he's a great guy, great friend, great father in so many ways but he's just lazy and has a massive chip on his shoulder. He never follows through with anything and it's tiring having the same arguments over and over again. Nothing ever changes so i've just given up even saying anything.
I take care of all our finances , pay all the bills (with both our money that we got from selling our old house). I honestly feel like the man and wife in this relationship.
I think i'm not right for him because he's obviously not motivated to help our family not only financially but emotionally to.
I honestly would leave today if it wasn't for our son and the fact our families are so close, it wouldn't only have repercussions on our son but both sides of our family and i would feel so guilty putting everyone through that.
I'm so lost and just wanted to put it out there and see what you thought, maybe what i can do, if anyones got the same problem had the same problem, anything really.
Thank you. x
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I don't know if i can carry on in my marriage.
user1479241710 · 15/11/2016 20:58
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