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Should I end this? Or can I live with it?

(3 Posts)
worstpersonever Sun 13-Nov-16 19:06:13

I've been seeing a man for the best part of a year. I have two children and he has one. It's been an evening thing when the kids are in bed and his daughters not there kind of thing although getting quite serious in that he's talked of marriage etc.
However I say this it's going to sound mean but he's not got the ability to say no when it comes to his ex, she will say to him most days and weekends at about 20 mins notice that he has to have his daughter because she's going away for the weekend or out shopping at school pick up time. Sometimes he loves the flexibility and extra time but sometimes it's like looking at a man that can't say no who will just do anything and it feels like they might as well still be together because even though he seems committed to me (overly at times) my life will always revolve around her won't it? They have no set pattern or days he just lives at the end of the phone from her. Do I break it off? I don't want to hurt him

HandyWoman Sun 13-Nov-16 19:11:31

To answer your question - only you know if you can live with it. I definitely couldn't.

There's the other issue of him being overly keen at times and talking of marriage when you are mostly seeing each other (as I understand it) away from the children. I call red flag. So that's two red flags.

What does your gut tell you?

SandyY2K Mon 14-Nov-16 23:25:22

She'll always be there and it will only get worse. They need structure and set days, so you can plan your own life if you'll be with him.

I'd tell him your concerns and that it's a barrier to taking the relationship any further. Then it's up to him to put boundaries and a schedule in place or decide he doesn't want to ... and risk loosing you.

You'll just end up feeling like his number 2.

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