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DF doesn't seem to want sex now I'm pregnant, feeling really sad about that

(18 Posts)
pinkcandyflossy Fri 11-Nov-16 16:43:40

So I'm only about 7 weeks pregnant. But since we found out (and we were both really happy about it!) he's just switched off sexually from me. In bed at night he sleeps far away. I'm really really horny too, so this is not helping. You know those threads where men get addicted to porn and getting themselves off? Well....I'm on that road!

Any advice please? Anyone had this happen to them?

gretagoodhouse Fri 11-Nov-16 16:48:22

Yup, it happened to me with my Ex-H but he was a twat and that was just part of that. Once I was pregnant, all manner of previously hidden twatty behaviour came out. He became so addicted to porn, we didn't have sex for the year after our DD was born.

If he's not a twat, he could just be freaked out? Some blokes have concerns they're going to hurt you or the baby and he might be worried he's looking at you slightly differently now you're pregnant.

Have you tried talking to him?

pinkcandyflossy Fri 11-Nov-16 16:54:22

Hmm no I haven't talked to him about it. I think this is based on my own insecurities that I don't want to hear him say it's because he doesn't fancy me anymore or something. I know that sounds really silly.

lottieandmia Fri 11-Nov-16 16:57:28

That sounds horrible sad

gretagoodhouse Fri 11-Nov-16 17:05:12

It doesn't sound silly at all - you're bound to feel rejected and it's a sensitive time. It could be as simple as he doesn't know if he should, he just feels a bit weird about there now being a baby inside you. He might even be worried himself.

Even if it is what you fear, which sounds unlikely, if you are both thrilled about the pregnancy, you really need to talk about it so you can deal with it.

pinkcandyflossy Fri 11-Nov-16 17:05:19

I know lottie! I didn't think I'd ever be the one getting addicted to porn lol.

Bluntness100 Fri 11-Nov-16 17:09:21

Huh? You're seven weeks pregnant so look the same as before I assume, so if he fancied uou then he fancies uou now. Plus you can't have known that long, so it's hardly been a worrying amount of time,,right?

Maybe he's just preoccupied with stuff.

pinkcandyflossy Fri 11-Nov-16 17:14:47

Yes greta I think I will talk to him tonight. Maybe you're right and he feels unsure with there being a baby in there!

blunt yeah I look the same before but with very awesome boobs! I know he is worried about work and stuff. I suppose there's a good chance he doesn't know I'm feeling like this since I haven;t said anything directly. I have been lazing around in nice underwear though so I've been giving off the sexy vibe - I think! blush

BreatheDeep Fri 11-Nov-16 17:15:16

Some men are concerned with hurting the baby. I think you should just ask him what's going on in his head.

Bob19702 Fri 11-Nov-16 17:20:54

I agree with pp , maybe he feels he might do some damage to the baby , maybe a chat will put his mind at rest ...

gretagoodhouse Fri 11-Nov-16 17:24:02

If he's got stuff going on at work, a baby on the way might add to feelings of pressure with it and as you're both happy about the pregnancy he might not want to put a downer on it.

But I could speculate all night - definitely have the conversation. Good luck!

Gardencentregroupie Fri 11-Nov-16 17:28:27

I don't think this is totally unusual. My DH isn't a Twat, but he is weirded out by sex in pregnancy. For him it partly stems from my first pregnancy ending in MMC, we had some sex during.that one. We barely had sex in my next (perfectly healthy) pregnancy, and now I'm expecting DC2 we haven't had sex in 4 months sad No advice, just wanted you to know it's not just you.

Thetruthfairy Fri 11-Nov-16 17:33:19

Op I think the increase in 'drive' is due to an increase in blood flow in that area. Made me want sex too but I was too shattered to do anything about it :-) had some very funny dreams about having sex with the most random people though.
Hope you manage to find out what his issue is xx

pinkcandyflossy Fri 11-Nov-16 18:00:48

Ok thanks everyone. I will talk to him tonight and update tomorrow!

adora1 Fri 11-Nov-16 18:07:39

7 weeks, you wont even be showing anything, weird!

rhodes2015 Fri 11-Nov-16 18:16:27

Hi pink,
I'm 7 weeks too and my dh doesn't want to either. He's said he's worried something bad will happen???! Weird cus I've shown him stuff online thats said it's perfectly safe but it's not changed his mind, he just doesn't feel comfortable so fair enough, I'm not that fussed about it though so not really a problem for us. Maybe it's the same issue for your dh?!
It's a shame though as it's a time where you feel so connected especially when your in that stage where very few other people know your pregnant. So not nice to feel rejected.

NewlySkinnyMe Fri 11-Nov-16 20:05:01

We didn't for either. For at least 12 months (the pregnancy and then a bit after for recovery). Seemed just a natural reaction to me and one we got over. Certainly wouldn't be on a forum asking for advice after a few short weeks. Don't worry about it.

MouseLove Fri 11-Nov-16 22:48:20

I can guarantee he's scared of hurting you and the baby. It's not because he doesn't fancy you anymore. Good luck with the chat. X

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