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Are you close to in laws?

(8 Posts)
Crystal15 Fri 11-Nov-16 16:34:31

I'm fed up but not sure if I'm been unreasonable. We never saw much of in laws, unless we made the effort. I'm now expecting their first grand child and still nothing. We get the odd text but never invites round or asking if we would like to go out for the day etc. It makes me quite sad and I feel isolated a bit when I see what other families are doing. My DF passed away and my DM isnt interested either really. So this baby will never have a good relationship with grandparents.

LongLiveTheChief Fri 11-Nov-16 16:47:04

I've got it the other way round, in laws live in our back pocket. It's lovely to see the relationship they have with him sometimes, but I feel like 4 of us make a decision on how DS is raised. I know which id prefer. X

BackforGood Fri 11-Nov-16 16:49:13

The baby isn't here yet!

I didn't really have much to do with my in-laws before having dc. Once the baby is here, then they will be much more likely to want to be involved. Quite probably your Mum too.

Horsegirl1 Fri 11-Nov-16 16:49:57

I used to get along with them or so I thought . ALWAYS tried my hardest to he the dil they wanted me to be but I came to realise that no matter what I did / do would ever be good enough for their perfect precious son. I now don't speak to them at all. It's a whole long long story but basically I HATE them . Dh is a mummy's boy and it's tearing us apart .

ByeByeLilSebastian Fri 11-Nov-16 16:53:51

I get on well with both my in laws (they're divorced) but they don't make a lot of effort.
We see FIL around once every couple of months for dinner at a pub.
I see mil more often but if I didn't mske the effort we could go months too.

It's sad but you get used to it. Best not to dwell on things you can't control.

Crystal15 Fri 11-Nov-16 17:22:00

Backforgood I should have probably mentioned my DH raised my DC from previous relationship so I'm not expecting things to change.

seb I know your right! It doesn't usually bother me too much but I've thought about it too much lately probably. I know it sounds entitled but I see parents who have the grandparents doing free childcare, huge lovely family christmas' and although I would never expect too much. I wouldn't mind them popping round for a cuppa and us to have a nice family xmas hmm

Bob19702 Fri 11-Nov-16 17:27:30

I wouldn't let it bother you things may change when the baby comes along , for what it's worth my now ex in laws where a waste of space before and after we had their first and second Grandchild, they used to come to visit and ex mil would rush in say hello give them a fiver while ex fil sat in the car with the engine running because he didn't want to take his shoes off in the house .....thank god they are exs lol

offside Fri 11-Nov-16 20:44:50

At the very beginning I got on really well with my in laws, but it soon became apparent that the MIL was bitter that I wasn't DPs ex and she still is. It has definitely driven a wedge between us now and I struggle to even be civil with her. DP knows where I stand, but I don't let it interfere with his nor my DDs (non) relationship with her.

When I was pregnant MIL was actually very excited and used to say that she couldn't wait until baby was born and how involved in her life she wanted to be...skip to 2.5 years down the line and she maybe sees her an hour a week at the most and then sees her arse when DD doesn't really engage with her. I'd like for DD to have a better relationship with the ILs, but it isn't going to happen. My DP has started to lose his patience with them now so well so I can't envisage it getting any better.

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