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Feeling unappreciated, unwanted and generally quite lonely.

(6 Posts)
Twalls Fri 11-Nov-16 15:20:35

Been married less than a year. Just posted on AIBU about our working hours and the fact that we have little time together and when we do - he'd rather play computer games.

Today is my one day off work. I'm working all over weekend. DH finished work at 11.30 so theoretically we could have had this afternoon (my one day off remember) to spend time together. Instead he's played grand theft auto.

Sex is a major issue at the moment as he's just not interested. If I don't initiate it, it doesn't happen. All through the week he says he's too tired from work and on a weekend he's either too drunk (drinks every Friday and Saturday night) or - if I attempt it in a morning (when I'm not working the weekend) he's too hung over.

Last weekend he'd not been interest in sex all week as he said he was too tired so I asked if we could make en effort Saturday morning as we both had the day off - he made out he was really keen on the idea. Saturday morning arrived and I tried to initiate and got no response at all. I assumed he needed a lie in - an hour or so later I tried again, still no response. He just kept saying he was "still waking up". It got to 11am and I just got up as half the day was gone. It makes me feel like crying.

So - again it's been a while. I tried to initiate a couple of nights ago and he said he was too tired so I cheerfully said "ok, Friday I'm off work and you finish at 11.30, maybe we could try and make time for each other in the afternoon?" He again seemed keen. Well, that afternoon is today and as I've said, he's spent it playing grand theft auto on his own.

I know it's not nice to be nagged for sex and I've backed off a lot these past few months but all that's done is more or less put a complete stop to our sex life.

I'm 10 years younger than him (although he's only 45) and I feel so unattractive and unwanted. It's making me paranoid. Wouldn't be so bad if he said "I'm not really in the mood for sex but lets go and see a movie together/go out for dinner) but he doesn't.

7 months into marriage and I'm lonely :-(

user1478877722 Fri 11-Nov-16 15:46:51

Could he be withholding sex because he wants to punish you in some way? Because he's angry about something and he can't express it. Is he generally passive aggressive? Was he always a gamer? How tedious.

Perhaps have a read up about passive aggressive behaviour and see if it fits the bill for him.

Twalls Fri 11-Nov-16 15:50:21

I've tried talking to him and he says there isn't an issue/I'm imaging things/I'm making stuff up/I'm exaggerating etc etc

I've suggested we stop drinking in a weekend (and I have stopped, for months now) and he refuses saying he needs to unwind after a week at work. I've suggested going to bed earlier, he declines saying he likes to watch the news.

When I try talking to him he just disagrees with everything I say and makes out that there isn't an issue. I'm totally on my own with it.

Shayelle Fri 11-Nov-16 17:00:30

How long did you know him for before you got married op? Did you move in together when you got married?

Chipperton Fri 11-Nov-16 17:07:22

Is he depressed? Not an excuse for behaving like an arse (I read your other thread) but the lack of interest in sex, wanting to zone out in front of the TV/games and not wanting to participate in activities with you or help you around the house sounds like he might be feeling a bit low.

You really need to talk to him. Tell him you are feeling unappreciated and overworked. He needs to communicate with you or the relationship is going to fizzle out.

You sound terribly stressed. I hope you get some answers

Threepumpkins Fri 11-Nov-16 17:50:36

Was he like this before you got married?

It sounds awful and no way to live. Have you thought about separating?

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