I apologise for the long ramble in advance, but I really need some constructive advice as I have no where and no one to turn to.
But of background. I am 30 with a 2 year old DD. Have a long term partner of 7 years.
I have no family at all. Broke contact years ago after an abusive childhood. No friends thanks to originally mental illness relating to childhood and now lack of time and confidence in myself.
Anyway, to the point. I feel completely trapped. Things have been awful for the last year after my partner was suspended from work pending disaplinary. He has just lost his job and we are well and truly screwed. This has turned him into a mess. He has lost all confidence and drive and fight and is so hard to live with.
He has been desperately looking for work but keeps being turned down, apparently narrowly missing out.
I in the meantime am working every hour god sends including over night with nect to know sleep as he "cannot deal with" our DD at the moment. I am being shouted at and having everything taken out on me. Despite woking as hard as I can, looking after the house, DD, finances and well everything including him, while he shouts at me and blames everyone else for his problems.
I just cannot cope. I am shattered and habe no fight. I have had to give up my degree in order to taken oj more working hours which I resent greatly. It sounds awful but this situation has made me resent him. I feel so trapped and alone. I can't get through to.him and I am running myself into the ground. We cannot pay our rent and bills on my salary even with me working 50.hour weeks. I feel like mt whole world is crashing down and I am powerless to stop it and my relationship has fallen apart.
I feel like I have let DD down already.
I hate my job with a passion and it is very hard, gruelling work for little pay.
My relationship is falling apart. I just do not know where to start to sort things.
I have suffered with deep depression and anxiety which largely I beat but I can feel.the feelings rearing their head again but if I fall apart. Well.. I have no option i just can't. I don'tknow what I am expecting from this post really. I have no one in real life to talk to and I am pulling myself apart. Any advice if you got this far would be so greatly received. Thank you.
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Need advice. I do not know where to start.
7 replies
flyingsaucer1234 · 09/11/2016 12:34
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