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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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My husband has hit our daughter and she keeps getting constant UTIs.

103 replies

user1478635055 · 08/11/2016 20:06

Would this make you question things?

OP posts:
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123bananas · 08/11/2016 20:08

How old is your dd? What do you mean by hit?

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Fairybella · 08/11/2016 20:10

Question what things??

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AyeAmarok · 08/11/2016 20:10

Do you think the two are related?

Or do you just not think that a man battering a child is enough of a reason to leave?

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Scoose · 08/11/2016 20:10

I think a lot more information is needed

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Laptopontable · 08/11/2016 20:11

I'd definitely have some questions if my husband hit my daughterHmm

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ivehadenough10 · 08/11/2016 20:11

Errr yes definitely question things Shock

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user1478635055 · 08/11/2016 20:12

Sorry I will be back to explain.

She is 9 it was a hit as in book thrown at her.

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MargoChanning · 08/11/2016 20:12

I assume your questioning if the UTI is a sign of sexual abuse? It could be. Or it might not be. If you have concerns - and it sounds like you do - then please take your daughter to your GP ASAP.

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PurplePen · 08/11/2016 20:13

Unless I was all packed and walking out of the door with my DD, then Yes I'd be questioning why I was such a shit parent.

Hth.

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BumWad · 08/11/2016 20:13

Why are you posting this online?

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Pickled0nions · 08/11/2016 20:13

I would question why he is hitting her. Is it because she's done something wrong or is he just being abusive for the sake of it?
The UTI I'm not sure what you're implying. Are you assuming something sinister is going on?

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Propertyquandry · 08/11/2016 20:14

I've read and re-read this 4 times now and all the usual MN phrases are going through my head but mainly,
Are you on drugs????

What the hell are you asking? Should you question the fact he has hit her? Hell yes! Or are you implying that as well as being physically abusive he is also sexually abusive? Because if you have the slightest worry that your daughter is being subjected to sexual abuse then you must do something now. Tonight. You must ensure she is safe.

If however, you have no reason to even question such a thing and your only reason to suspect SA is regular UTIs then perhaps start by taking her to the GP.

But he hits her and you're questioning things so I'd say trust your instinct. She's a child. Your child. Show her you will protect her.

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Laptopontable · 08/11/2016 20:16

Yea and don't worry about coming back to fill a bunch of strangers in.. just get your daughter somewhere safe where she won't be subjected to violence.

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Notagain16 · 08/11/2016 20:16

I dread to think.

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MatildaTheCat · 08/11/2016 20:16

Your daughter should be investigated if she has constant UTIs. I would be amazed if it wasn't routine to check for signs of sexual abuse in this situation. Ask your GP if she isn't being followed up.

Was the book throwing an isolated incident or just part of an aggressive back story? This sort of matters IMO. You are concerned enough to post here so speak to dh about the aggression.

How is dd around her dad?

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CrazyDuchess · 08/11/2016 20:18

The second the book left his hand and struck your daughter - he should be your STBXH!

Get your daughter to safety and book a GP appt asap

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Whatabloodyidiot1 · 08/11/2016 20:19

If you even vaguely suspect that the two are linked you get out of the house with your daughter now.
Even if you don't think the two are linked, he hit your child so you get out of the house with your daughter now.....

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Lunar1 · 08/11/2016 20:20

Do you suspect he is abusing her?

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Smartleatherbag · 08/11/2016 20:22

Get her away from him, based on the book throwing alone.

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user1478635055 · 08/11/2016 20:22

She is safe I don't want you to assume she isn't. The reason I'm asking is because if he through the book at her would you question the UTIs, that was my question.

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AnyFucker · 08/11/2016 20:22

I think you should seek some RL advice

After you have removed your daughter from the vicinity of your husband

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Smartleatherbag · 08/11/2016 20:23

Ask the gp to assess her. I hope she is ok, and you.

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AnyFucker · 08/11/2016 20:24

I don't really understand the link you are making between throwing the book at her and whether the UTI'S are a sign of sexual abuse

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AnyFucker · 08/11/2016 20:25

Sexual abuse can exist without physical abuse and vice versa

You have plain evidence of at least one

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OutragedKoala · 08/11/2016 20:25

Surely this is a wind up. Get the GP to assess you too OP Hmm

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