Webcams

[honesthelp]

Anyone had any experience of DHs using webcams? I found my DH has spent £100 over 3 weeks. Would this be the end? Feel like shit and I'm no prude.

I actually had to clean the computer of his .....

In every other respect relationship ok I know he uses porn but wonder whether this is the next step to him being unfaithful - if this isn't infidelity already.

[DearMrDilkington]

I wouldn't feel comfortable at all with that.

I have no issue with porn but webcams seem a lot more intimate. I'd also be furious about how much money his wasted on it.

Sorry

[Hastalapasta]

I agree with the PP, and would make him clean the keyboard too!

[Simonneilsbeard]

I really don't know much about webcams, thank god..but is he able to interact with these women? Or is just simply watching a live broadcast?
if he's been paying to chat and watch these women is be fucking furious

[honesthelp]

But what do I do now? Monitor all accounts etc not sure there's much point. I don't trust him now. What DH would think that their wife would be OK with this.

I confronted him and he has minimised saying he is going through a stressful time at work (he is) He thinks it's no biggie and didn't realise I would mind as I am quite liberal about porn.

[TheTantrumCometh]

So he's wasted money and you've had to clean up his mess?

To be honest, just using the webcams would be enough for me to leave (we have discussed my views and DH knows that porn use is a line crossed for me, and he has agreed, so it wouldn't be an out of the blue thing), but to leave his mess for you to clean shows a complete and utter lack of respect for you as a human and the other people who may/may not live in your house.

[honesthelp]

I'm not sure Simonne, he has paid £25 for 4 different nights so I can't be sure what that involves...but he seemed pretty satisfied.

[honesthelp]

Yes tantrum I think that's what's upset me - cleaning up his shit and also he did it while we(children) were all asleep upstairs.

[Humblebee1]

Yuk.

[Simonneilsbeard]

I'd be asking him just what the fuck he's getting for £25 a go!
I agree with tantrum, leaving you to clean up his mess just smacks of utter contempt for you.

[OnceMoreIntoTheBleach]

OP.

I think you need to work out where your line is. For me, this would be akin to visiting a lap dancer, which I wouldn't accept. But it's very personal what you will and won't tolerate.

[honesthelp]

I haven't been able to do anything today. I just think the Internet and the accessibility to porn and then where that can lead to quite quickly is making me feel sick.

[Bluntness100]

Yeah, I wouldn't be ok with that either, dunno what you're going to do about it though. It's better than being unfaithful and I guess lots of men do it.

[legotits]

Web cam girls.
He has either had a private show or joined a group.
They watch the woman perform live while they interact through voice or text chat.

He pays his money, the woman chats and follows instructions from him.

For 'special' performances, I. E. Pissing or enormous dido in rectum, they group up (10x men x £25)
It isn't watching pre recorded video or general porn.
Prostitution by proxy.

That's a real woman who he is interacting with.

Don't minimise it.
If you are fine and cool with it, brilliant.
It's no small matter.

[TheNaze73]

It is terrible behaviour on his part

[honesthelp]

Shit I didn't realise they group with other men to get more stuff. I innocently thought she probably just did a strip for him. Wanker

[honesthelp]

I just don't know whether to leave or not

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

If there is no trust now, there is really no relationship. He has and continues to minimise his actions. He is also not above blaming you either by saying that you are quite liberal about porn.

[honesthelp]

He keeps calling and texting from work saying that I am knocking his character and there are loads of things that I do that annoy him etc. He wants to know why I don't just drop it and stop running him down. He said he won't do it again. Would you just drop it and let it go?

[legotits]

Would I fuck.

To me this would as bad as him popping to a brothel three times a month.
In fact worse.
Because cam can be done on a mobile phone so he could tell me he is having a shit and be at it.

It makes no difference what we would do though.

What do you think about it?

[Simonneilsbeard]

No we I wouldn't drop or let it go ..he wants you to let it go because is easier for him!
He's a tool!

[Simonneilsbeard]

I not *we

[honesthelp]

Yes but you can't divorce someone break up a family over it surely? I just don't see what I can do - counselling?

He went to work today and said I was making him depressed and he felt ill. He can't understand why I would want to drag it out anymore - it's been 2 days.

[legotits]

Forget what he wants.
No one cares about that.

Can you stay married to someone who does this and then shuts you down when you try to talk?

Do a little research and see what exactly he has bought.
What it was exactly he needed because he was stressed.

He didn't come back from a Prague stag do and confess to a drunk night with a prostitute.
He was Caught and owned up, minimally.

Take the camera away. Would you be OK that someone performed for him in your home whilst he had a wanker?

[legotits]

Wank not er.

Although he is.

[Simonneilsbeard]

You made him depressed and ill, just like he was stressed blah blah
Everything is someone else's fault isn't it?
You let it go when and if he's genuinely sorry and is taking responsibility for his actions and then only if you want to! Don't allow him to blame you.
It wouldn't cost me a thought to end a relationship over that ..especially if what he's been doing is anything like what a previous poster described!
If I found out my husband was emptying his balls while paying a woman to perform sexual acts on camera It most certainly would signify the end of our marriage.